Red Butterfly

Chapter 50, There's A Different Way To Die

I stop in my tracks, right in front of the Hokage's office. There was someone inside and I chose to wait instead of barging in. When door was opened a guy who looked about my age if not older appeared. His hair was light and he had glasses on.

Kabuto Yakushi, I recalled.

"Oh, you must be Itachi", he greeted. I remained indifferent and instead walked right past him towards the Hokage. I closed the door, disregarding Kabuto completely as I take in a deep breath.

"You summoned me", I monotonously say, fixing my gaze elsewhere.

Along the blurry lines, I can't help it but hold Hiruzen Sarutobi responsible for Hanabi's death. I'm pretty sure he felt the same, since he'd ordered her on that mission. Which Danzo took advantage of by substituting the Anbu squad she was supposed to be dispatched along with his Root Anbu. Ever since then, I'd involuntarily grown cold towards Hiruzen Sarutobi.

"I don't blame you for the stigma you hold towards me", he began. He'd stopped smoking with the pipe four years ago. It was a side effect of Hanabi's death. I simply rolled my eyes at him.

"Itachi, I realized that you're slowly losing your grip on what's around you", he said, making my jaw clench.

"Don't worry about that", I cut him off, "you never worry about any of the Leaf's shinobi so why now?", I flatly remark.

"Listen, I don't want this darkness to consume you while you're still alive and breathing", he insisted. The atmosphere around us was dull and murk.

"I died", I stare at him right in the face, catching him by surprise, "I died four years ago, but I'm still caged in this body, serving you and this village in hopes that someday the Five Great Nations will put their bullshit aside and stop with the wars".

I was hating the mannerless person I had become these past four years, but there was nothing I could do about it. It shakes your faith right where you stand when you're falling apart and all that the world can do is...go on...totally indifferent to your pain...

"Your point is valid, Itachi, but you must not let your stigma cloud your judgement", he advised.

Like I said, I hate the person I'd become, because right now I'd dared and treaded up to the Hokage's desk. Slamming my hands on his desk with a thud I looked straight into his eyes and snickered, "I'm just a product of the system you helped create", I narrow my eyes at him. A distant voice at the back of my mind told me that this is wrong.

I should stop...

"You are so indecisive that your decisions always end up hurting people. You let a kid live off of Ramen and spoiled milk while all you do is pay his rent. You should honestly thank your predecessors that Minato and Kushina aren't alive to see the injustice done to their son. Cause if they did, they'll want your head on a silver platter", my eyes were wide open as I complain right at his face. His expression was cemented in place as he stared back at me just as hard.

"And I don't care how praised you are in this village and around the world, because to me, someone who burdened the younger generation with the indiscretions of the past is nothing but a transgressor", my heart clenches as the memory of that night sparks in my mind again.

"Hanabi lost her life...", I bit my tongue and avoided saying anything about Danzo, "...all because you let your sick-in-the-head disciple go free when you had the chance to take him down", I complain, then proceed to shout, "and then you proceed to send Hanabi on that mission in hopes that she could take care of the mess you were too damn lazy to clean up!", my fist clenches and I grit my teeth when I realized I'd just choked on my own voice.

I inch closer and activate my Sharingan. He seems unfazed as usual. I crinkled my nose before I hissed at him, making sure I stress on every single syllable, "Hiruzen Sarutobi", I start, then resume, "I hate you from the bottom to the top of my rotten heart".

I took a deep breath and backed away from his desk. I lowered my head and when I had sense put back into me, it was already too late for apologies. I'm such a mess and I hate it. After I snapped at him, a round of silence followed which he proceeded to break by saying:

"Do you feel better now?"

My head jerked up in his direction as I stared at him wide-eyed.

I'll not cry in front of anyone!

"No", I stressed on the single syllable and bolted for the door.

If he thinks that therapy is what I need then he could take his suggestions and shove it up his-

There's a different way to die. It's even worse than actual and it is the undeniable realization when you lose sight of who you are and become a shadow of who you once were.

"Itachi", he calls out, making me stop in my tracks.

"What?", I hiss.

"You're relieved from the Anbu Black Ops"

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A/N:- I understand that some of you might not like Itachi's personality, but you have to understand that trauma changes people, and losing Hanabi had altered Itachi. Not completely, but more than enough. Stay tuned for the upcoming events and let me know if you like the book sooo far by either commenting or voting.

~A