captain | levi x reader

fifty six

hi loves <3  i hope you had a very nice christmas hehe

ok and you dont have to listen to the song i linked but if this was a show id want this song to be played during this part lmao 

enjoy this chapter babesss, ill see you again next week <3

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The vast field is a quiet one, despite the soft whistles of the wind and the occasional neighs of Levi's horse. There are no sobs, or tears, or even laughter. However, there is a sharp intake of breath that you take when you climbed off of his horse. Maybe that could have passed as a small cry.

Even the sunlight could not wipe away the ever growing guilt that was building inside of you. Your thoughts are constant, resting in a space of thoughtful melancholy.

And this guilt wasn't even that profound at first, but when you and Levi sat down — tired hands reaching for soft grass — you realized that this was something you would miss.

"We were once here," you mention, and it sounds more reminiscent than you had intended. 

Levi hums, a noise of consideration. "I wanted to show her this place."

"Her?" You tilt your head at him.

Levi sighs as he placed his hand on your unsuspecting stomach, "her."

"Oh." You looked down at his hand and your stomach, "How do you know its a girl?"

A breeze rushes by the two of you and perhaps it was the universe's way of answering. Levi says nothing, instead he looks towards the field which ends at the wall. And so you look forward as well, resting your head on his shoulder.

There are countless flowers, still not as much as when you two were last here. White flowers, red ones,  pink ones. There is even a single rose amongst the other blossoms, it is rare but you don't even think of taking it. 

You even have an urge to make Levi a new flower crown, the one you had given him already was withering. But you don't, you sit still beside Levi to take in everything that he was.

An occasional tear rolls down your cheek and you don't notice, too busy enthralling yourself with what was once you and Levi in this very spot. The wind reminds you again, and Levi gives you a sidelong glance.

"Why are you crying?" He asks. Part of him twitches away from the idea that he had been too angry with you earlier. "Is it because of me?"

When you speak, your words are met with sighs and sad smiles. "Kind of. I will miss you a lot."

Levi still doesn't understand but he suppresses the need to ask. He's accepted the fact that you weren't going to tell him much, but he believes that he will find out later. He trusts that with you.

What he does understand is the sinking feeling in his heart. He doesn't tell you, but he is guilty and it's eating him alive as the seconds pass by. Everything in his life led up to this moment and these feelings. He was going to lose you and there was nothing he could do. It was the same with Isabel and Farlan, even his mother. 

He keeps that to himself though.

"You never answered me," You lift your head from his shoulder to look at him. "You will wait for me, right?"

Levi could wait a lifetime just to see you once more. 

"(Y/N)," he began. "I am grateful for every second I am with you, and I would anything for more time. If that means waiting, then I will wait for you."

You frown, looking back towards the scenery. "Aren't you upset?"

"Very," he says.

You shoulders stiffen as you exhale slowly. For a moment, Levi thinks he'll go unanswered, but then you reply through sniffles and quiet sobs.

When he turns to fully look at you, he's slightly shocked to see your smiling face accompanied by tears that seemed to keep flowing, despite your efforts trying to wipe them away. 

Levi doesn't know what to say, so he pulls you into his chest for a hug. He even lays you both onto the grass beneath you, it doesn't matter that he thinks the ground is filthy because at least he is holding you. 

He feels the stinging in his eyes, but he doesn't cry. Rather he can't and he refuses.

Time is slow when you two are laying on the grass, it's nice this way. Just you and Levi together, you swear you could stay like this forever.

"What should I do when I miss you?" He asks. "When I wake up and you are no longer there, what should I do?"

You only bury your face into his chest even more, tears staining his grey shirt. This wasn't supposed to happen, you didn't think you'd cry, more like you didn't want to. You wanted your last memories of Levi to be with you and him smiling together, as if nothing could ever come between you. 

Yet, here you were gracing your cries to the setting sun until the moon appeared to compose what was left of your mental stability.

You could feel time slowly drift away. The more the moon rose in the sky, the less time you had left with Levi Ackerman.

He lays with you, entwined under the now starry sky. Both of you unwilling to release the other.

"I love you, Levi." This is what you say to him. Your voice is soft and tired from the crying. You could fall asleep here in his arms.

The last thing you see, as you rest on Levi's chest, is the moon in the sky. 

The last thing you hear from Levi, is not what you expected. Because it is what you tell him; what you always tell him.

He knew that every single time you told him these words, he was reminded of how much you undoubtedly loved him. With these words, he fell in love with you all over again. Over and over and over again.

"Even if we're apart," he strokes your hair and gives you one final kiss on your forehead before you fall asleep. "I will always be with you."

And you are reminded of how much he undoubtedly loved you, too.