Can't Stop Wanting You. (EDITED)

Chapter 45 - Her Grave.

Tom's POV - (22nd October)

I stand over her grave.

I run my fingers over her name. There's nothing forgiving about this place, it just reminds you of everything you've lost.

That my children have lost.

She was taken way too young. The mother of my children, ungraciously snatched from her children's lives. And to know that one day they will ask where their mum is or why she was taken, hurts my soul in ways that I hope no one else ever has to feel.

The twins are now 3 weeks old. It's crazy how big they are already and they've both got their own personalities. I love them more than anything.

Jacob, Elenor, Louie and Isla.

My babies, my world and my reason for everything.

I lay the flowers on the grave and then I feel two arms wrap around me and I place my hand, over the hand on my stomach.

I smile and turn her round to me and kiss her. And how can I forget my beautiful Lily?

It was touch and go there for a long time with her. I asked to have my babies and I held them the whole time whilst waiting for her to come back out. I didn't know if she would be coming out dead or alive and that was eating me up inside.

The moment I saw them wheel her back out, with the machines around her beeping steadily, I fell to the floor holding my new born babies to me and cried as I held them.

The relief I felt in that moment is something I've never felt before. I went in the room with our babies and sat with her, as the babies slept in my arms.

The following morning, I hadn't slept at all, but I didn't care, I needed to know that all 3 of them were okay.

I called my dad to explain what had happened and he brought the kids once she had woken up in the afternoon. The kids were super excited to see their sibling and they were shocked to find 2 of them.

Dad, Clara, Scott, Tanya, David and my brother Alfie, all popped in that afternoon to say hello and see the baby and we're all surprised as well at the two babies they saw in the crib.

I explained what had happened, they all showed their compassion and their support. Dads been staying at home since then to help me with the kids, because Lily needed to stay in hospital for a couple of weeks after that, until they deemed it safe enough for her to leave.

Two days later, when she was more well rested, I sent a text message out to everyone saying:

Hi all,
We just wanted to let you all know, that Lily has given birth early morning on the 4th October and we are now the proud mummy and daddy of Louie Jameson Williams born 12:02 weighing 5lb 13oz and Isla Lacey Williams, born 12:04 weighing 5lb 8oz. We've got twins! We can't wait to share them with you all. Lots of love from,
Tom, Lily, Jacob, Elenor, Louie and Isla xxx

We got plenty of congratulations from everyone. It was beautiful to have some positivity after such a heartbreaking few hours.

We were so happy when they said that both babies were healthy and big enough to be able to come home, but because Lily didn't have her own room anymore to stay in, we thought it best the babies came home over night and I brought them back to her everyday.

She's come out of hospital today and today is the anniversary of when Tara died. She thought it would be nice to come and lay flowers. All it does is remind me that my kids will ask those questions one day and that their mum being gone is going to effect them for the rest of their lives. It's something that I can never fix for my children.