Scene 1, Take 2

Chapter Nine

Scene 1, Take 2

Chapter Nine

Edward's POV

I completely froze in my tracks. I internally cursed myself for not thinking about this beforehand. And everything was going so well!

She had accepted my offer with such ease, I couldn't help but feel hopeful. I had to bite back the sobs of happiness that fluttered from my heart.
I felt so... so... so warm.

But now, as she stood in front of the few pieces of her that I had kept through the years, I was certain that she would go back to presenting herself as cold and distant.

All of the things on the shelf I had gathered the day after her funeral. I stopped by her house, and asked Charlie if I could sit in Bella's room for a bit by myself, to say goodbye.

He accepted with such ease, I would be lying if I said I wasn't expecting some reluctance.

I stayed in her room for about forty minutes, saying goodbye. I stared at her bed, and remembered the magical nights we spent there. I almost felt her as I thought of how it felt when she lay asleep in my arms. I noticed with great self hatred how her collection of books and CDs were nowhere to be seen.

I nearly laughed as I saw the heap of metal and cables that had become of the radio my siblings had given her for her birthday. I knew it would hurt their feelings to know what she had done to it, though they also knew they deserved her hatred– so I decided not to mention it.

The thought of her birthday led me to remember placing her other presents, along with the pictures she had taken of me, under her floorboards. I carefully lifted them, and was baffled by the relief I felt to see that they were still there. At that moment I decided that I should keep some reminder of her.

Something I could feel, and touch, and smell. Beside the memories that were so painful– they turned murky, I wanted another symbol of our time together.

I came back later that night, through her window. I had almost expected to see her there, waiting for me on her narrow bed. But of course she wasn't. The room looked exactly as I had left it in the afternoon. Charlie was sound asleep, and I started grabbing things that I wanted to keep. No one would ever notice.

Alice had provided me with a bag, and slowly, I began filling it up. I grabbed everything I had hidden under her floorboards, wondering if she had ever found them. Maybe she did, but didn't even care enough to take them out.

It doesn't matter. My conscious screamed. She's dead.

And he was right. After replacing the floorboards, I moved on to her closet. And there, hung at the very back, was my favorite blue blouse. The clothes still smelt much like her, and the scent did weird things to me. It was almost like all of my emotions were screaming at each other for who gets the upper hand. No one won.

I took the blouse, and as I removed it from the hanger, I noticed it revealed another hidden item. Her bulky book full of Austen novels. I guessed she liked it too much to get rid of it. I placed them both in the bag.

Taking the blouse in my hand, I slowly brought it to my nose and inhaled slowly. The smell burned, but it was faint compared to the scent of her pulsing blood, which I remembered vividly. I noticed, that beside the burn, the scent caused no hunger. The was no overflow of venom in my mouth. The monster was still kept at the very back of my mind.

Even the monster knew she was dead. It knew that there was no one to chase down and hunt. It seemed that everyone had fully acknowledged this, but me.