Scene 1, Take 2

Chapter Fourteen

Scene 1, Take 2

Chapter Fourteen

Bella POV
Song: "In My Life" The Beatles

Edward had promised to take me to the tree today. He had offered to take me after I'd won the fight with Jasper and Emmett, and I had agreed eagerly.

I was very comfortable around them all. Joking and talking in general came naturally, and I wasn't so caught up in my thoughts. Well, not in a protective way.

At the very beginning of my journey to rejoining the Cullens, I was always weary, making sure I wasn't giving to much of myself away. But I trusted them now, and I had no problem giving them my all.

Except for one. Edward, of course. Comfort had set in quickly, so then the lust came. I told him I would learn to love him in a way that was good for me, and I didn't know if I had, but I knew that I wanted to be with him. Desperate for it, actually.

I couldn't look at him without thinking about kissing him. Claiming him once again as my own. We were very good friends now. Did I trust him? Yes. Do I love him? Yes. Am I sure I won't get hurt? No.

Had he told me he loved me? Yes, many times. But a part of me refused to believe it. A part of me still perceived myself as a worthless human who had nothing that could hold him. Keep him.

But I was Bella now. I had favorite movies and books, along with some I hated. I had a favorite food, a favorite scent, a favorite sound, color. I had hobbies and passions. Things I didn't have for a long time. It felt good.

I could finally answer the simplest question. "Who are you?". I couldn't actually answer that for a long time.

So a Bella that wasn't empty couldn't be completely filled by Edward Cullen. If I had him, there would still be plenty of me left. I made a mental note to make sure of that– that I wouldn't lose myself while finding him.

I was currently sitting in my own bedroom, in my own home, waiting for nightfall. We couldn't go during the day, obviously, so we agreed to wait until midnight, then begin driving towards Forks. It was a four hour drive, so no one would be awake by the time we got there. Sunrise was quite late too, so we'd have a bit to stick around.

I was slowly turning over the idea of kissing him in my head. I wanted to, very much. Who knew what the after would carry, though?

I couldn't deny the fact that without him by my side, a faint trace of my ache appeared. I didn't notice it at first, until I felt so relieved to see him, even after only a few hours.

He held my heart in his hands. Always had, and always will. And I decided that I was ready. For what exactly? I wasn't sure. But I was sure about him. I was ready for him.

Before I knew it, midnight came around, and I had to leave my house and head to theirs. I found it both amusing and comforting that butterflies were fluttering in my stomach just at the thought of seeing him again.

I opened the door of my house, stepped outside, and then paused. Just a few hours from now might be our first kiss. Well, second first kiss. I wanted to look good for him. No! A voice in the back of my mind shouted. You want to look good for you.

I sighed. I realized it would be very easy to throw myself away for him. I needed to make sure I wasn't doing that.

I headed back inside, and examined myself in the mirror that was hung in my bedroom. My hair was pulled up in a high ponytail. My face looked perfect, of course. It took me a while to get used to my flawless exterior, but now I barely thought about it.