Hurricane // Matty Healy ♣ The 1975

36. thoughts

TRIGGER WARNING

again i don't want to romantisize this, fuck, sorry. <3

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Matty's arms wrapped around my waist and his lips dragged down my neck sloppily. I looked at him, beads of sweat forming on his forehead. I kissed his lips gently and he grinned at me and practically giggled.

"God, I missed this." He mumbled. "I missed you." 

I opened my eyes and stared at the carpet of Bryony's bedroom. 

I reached for my phone and turned it on. 

I began to read the texts from Matty. 

'Lizzy can we talk?'

'Lizzy, please.' 

'Lizzy I love you.' 

I sighed quietly and shut my eyes before replying. 

'I love you too.' 

I got up, finally showered, threw on a pair of black skinny jeans, a long sleeved black top and a grey sweatshirt with a pink rose on the front. I looked okay for once. 

I dried my hair and did my make up, badly, but I looked better than usual. 

I could hear Sylvia and Becca talking in the kitchen through the floor. I laughed quietly, they were the two loudest people in the house. 

I wanted to talk to Bryony, Tom or Charlie, juat to get some sense out of someone, but they were all either out or in some lecture, so I called Matty.

He answered in no time. 

"Hi." He said.

I sat down on Bryony's bed as I began to feel lightheaded. 

"Hi." I replied quietly. 

I thought about his lips and his hair and his eyes and hands and tried to imagine him in the room with me. 

"I-I miss you." 

"Yeah, I miss you too." I said. 

"How long has it been?" He asked. 

Too long. 

"About, I dunno, almost a month." I said. 

"I know, I just wanted to hear you saying it." He mumbled. I shut my eyes.

"Can I see you?" I asked him. He was so silent that I could hear him walking around. 

"I don't know." 

I sunk my teeth into my thumb nail and carelessly tore the tip of it off, wincing as it peeled some of my skin with it. 

I heard him take a sharp intake of breath, sounding like he was about to cry. 

"I miss you, Lizzy, and it's killing me." 

I said nothing. 

"This is killing me." He choked out. 

"Then why can't I see you?" I asked him. 

"Because that will hurt even more." 

"Matty, are you drunk?" I asked him. He sobbed. 

"Yeah." He let out a pained laugh. 

"What are you doing?" I asked him, standing up and slipping my shoes on quickly. 

"Right now?" He asked. 

"Right now." I confirmed. 

"I'm sitting on the bathroom floor, staring at the tiles on the floor." He giggled and I frowned. 

"What are you doing in the bathroom?" I asked as I opened the door and began to run down the stairs. 

"I don't know." He admitted. "I'm really high, though." He mumbled. 

I frowned. 

"Right, I'm coming over now. Don't move at all, don't do anything stupid." I warned him. 

"No, don't come over." He said, just as I opened the front door. 

"Where are you doing, Lizzy?" Sylvia shouted from the kitchen, I ignored her. 

"I'll call Geroge then." I said, shutting the door hesitantly. 

"No, don't call George, or anyone for that matter." 

"The police-" 

"Lizzy stop." He whimpered. I leaned against the wall. 

"Matty, I'm not going to let you do something stupid all because I fucked George." I almost shouted down the phone. 

"You what?" Becca practically screamed at me from the kitchen. "Fucking hell!" 

I laughed quietly, Sylvia didn't tell her after all. I prepared myself for all of the rumours spread on Twitter. 

"But-" 

"No, Matty. It was a relationship, not the end of the world, okay. Sure, you're my world and I dunno if I'm yours, but there are so many more important things than this, like you're family, or-" 

"Lizzy I just want you so much." He sobbed. I dragged my hand through my hair. 

"Then let me come over." 

I walked out of the door and ran down the road. 

"What are you doing?" I asked.

He sobbed. 

"Matty tell me, what are you doing?" I clungto my phone as I ran breathlessly down the street. 

"Lizzy." He cried. 

"Matty what are you doing?" He laughed. I frowned. 

"Thinking of you." 

"No, what are you doing?" My feet were beggining to hurt and I realised I wouldn't even get there in time if he did something stupid. 

"Matty!" I almost shouted. 

I hailed a cab and one stopped by me immediatly. I opened the door and slid in, shutting the door behind me and told the driver Matty's address. 

"Matty, I'm on my way now." I told him. 

"Okay." He whimpered. 

I curled my toes up in my shoe. 

"Don't do anything stupid." I told him. 

"I can'y make any promises." He whispered.