No Regrets [Jack Barakat]

Déjà-vu

Valentine's POV

I carefully put the blanket away and got up from the bed. I searched my underwear and put it on. Then the rest of my clothes. Everything as silent as possible. I checked if Jack was still sleeping and then quietly walked out the hotel room. I think I had a déjà-vu. Luckily there weren't many people in the hotel lobby but I still tried to cover my face as much as possible. Hopefully people won't recognize me. Outside the hotel I called for a taxi and told the driver where to go. "Aren't you someone famous? Like a musician?" the driver asked while driving. "Yeah, I am. If you dare telling anyone that, I will cut off your balls and feed them to Alex Gaskarth's dogs" I warned and searched for my phone. The driver opened his eyes wide and tried to concentrate to the street. Fuck, I think I forgot my phone in the hotel room. Dammit, now I can't go back. We're already in the festival area. "Here we are. That's 15$" the driver said. "What? 15$?!" I asked and searched for some money in my pocket. "Yeah, I'm sorry, but I can't make a special price for someone who I can't tell my friends about" he said and smiled. "Bitch" I mumbled to myself and gave him the money. I got out of the car and walked to the bus. It was quiet in the bus, so hopefully they are still sleeping. I opened the door carefully and luckily no one was in the front. I think they're still sleeping. Quietly I walked on my tiptoes to my bunk. I lay in it and just when I wanted to close the curtain, I heard how another curtain opened. It was the one in front of me, so Ian's bunk. "Where have you been?" he asked serious. "I-I...I was in the hotel. I slept there" I simply said and tried to smile. "I saw you leaving with Jack" he said in a really serious tone. "Dammit" I mumbled to myself. Well, let's say F.oxtrot U.niform C.harlie K.ilo. "Did you do it again?" he asked. It sounded like he was a bit dissapointed in me. "Yes" I said quietly and looked down. He shook his head and had a sad expression in his face. "Look, I'm sorry. I can't remember anything from last night. I didn't do it because I wanted it, I did it because I didn't know what I was doing" I tried to explain. "Valentine, it's all the time the same. You always say it's the alcohol's fault" he said and closed the curtain. I closed it, too and put my face in the pillow. Somehow I understand him but somehow I think he's my brother! He "has" to understand me and stand up for me. That's just his job as brother. Ah, damn, my head hurt. I put the blanket over me and tried to sleep a bit.

I actually didn't want to see him right now, but I have to. I mean he's my brother and we're together in a band. And we're also in the same bus. There's just no way to get out of his way. Luckily the next show was just in 3 days, so we had a bit time to relax. And talk about things. Oh, there he comes around the corner. "Hey, can we talk?" Ian asked. I nodded and we walked a bit away from the bus. "Did you talk to Jack already?" he asked first. "No, I didn't. I actually don't wanna talk to him right now" I explained. "You must, there's no way out of it" he said serious. "Yes, I know but I don't want to do it now. Maybe in some days" I said. I think he's a bit angry. "Val, you can't wait too long for it. Last time you thought you're pregnant, maybe this time you are!" he now almost shouted. "I'm definitely not! Damn, you're my brother, can't you understand that I can't talk to him right now?" I asked loudly. He laughed. "Damn Val, I was here for you your whole life! And I didn't got one 'thank you' from you. And now you want that I continue with that and just be there when your little heart's bleeding? That's not how it works!" he shouted and then left me with tears in my eyes. I hate fights in general but fight with my brother are worse. I sat on the floor and let the tears stream down my face. I sat there crying until I heard some steps behind me. "Are you okay?" asked the voice. It sounded familiar, but I didn't know the person. "Yeah, it's nothing" I said and wipped the tears away. The man sat next to me and put his arm around me. I turned my head to see who it was. It was the singer of Pierce The Veil, Vic Fuentes. One of my heroes. "You sure?" he asked again and looked worried. "Yes, it's just...something with my brother..." I said and scratched my arm. I did this a bit too strong so I opened one of my scars. I felt how my cold blood streamed over my fingers. "Fuck" I said and tried to stop the bleeding. Vic looked over to my arm and stood up. "Come over to our bus. We can fix that" he said and helped me to stand up from the ground. We walked over to his band's bus and got inside. He seached for the first-aid kit and helped me to put a bandage around it. "Thanks" I thanked when he was finished. "You're welcome" he said and smiled. My arm looked now like when I was cutting. But the good thing is, that it was just an acident. "So, you wanna tell me why you sat on the ground crying?" he brought the main topic back. I took a deep breathe and then told him the whole story. Everything that happened with Jack until now. I really told him everything (well not the details from our 2 nights) because I kinda knew that I can trust him. When I was finished was he scratching his neck. "What a story" he said. I nodded and looked at my arm again. It luckily stopped bleeding but I still need to wear the bandage until it's a bit healed. Great. Can't wait for the rumors. "Okay, um, I think you should talk to both. Ian and Jack. But maybe first to Jack. I know him for a long time now, I think I know how he would react. But I think you should first clear the thing with him and then you can clear things with Ian" said Vic honestly. "Yes, maybe you're right" I said and looked on the floor. "And I think I will do that right now" I said enthusiastic and stood up from the couch. "Okay, do that. Good luck" he said and gave me a hug. I tried not to fangirl but couldn't help but smile. "Now go!" he said when he let me go. I nodded and went out the bus. The sun was shining bright right into my face. I covered my eyes with my hand and then walked to the bus of All Time Low. Hopefully he was there. Or maybe he's still in the hotel? No, it's already pretty late in the afternoon. I bet he already came here. I had so many déjà-vu's that day. I reached ATL's bus and knock on the door. It swung open and Rian stood behind it. "Hi, is Jack here?" I asked and smiled weakly. Rian just scratched his head, nodded and pointed to the bunk area. I think he had a massive hangover. "Thanks" I said and walked in the bus. I walked to the bunks and opened the curtain of Jack's bunk. Jack was lying there with closed eyes. When he heard to curtain open, he opened the eyes and turned his head to the side. "Hi Jack. Can we talk?" I asked. He saw the bandage around my arm and looked confused. "What happened?" he asked sleepy. "I will tell you later, it's nothing special. Now can we talk?" I asked again. He nodded and slowly left the bunk. We walked to the backlounge since the others were sleeping or somewhere in the festival area. We sat on the couch. "You know what happened last night, right?" I asked and he nodded. "Sooooo what was that? Another bet?" I asked more as a joke. "No, it wasn't a bet. I don't know why I did it... I think it was the alcohol" he said. "Oh, okay. Uh, I think it was the same at me. I honestly don't remember much from them" I said and laughed weakly. "So, you agree when we keep that as a secret?" he asked. "Well, a secret between you, me and Ian. He found out, well he saw me leaving with you that night" I explained. "Oh, okay. Well, then a secret between us three?" he asked. "Yes, okay. And it won't happen again. But really this time" I agreed and smiled. He nodded and hugged me and then brought the bandage-topic back. "So what happened now to your arm?" he asked when he let me go. "I just scratched my arm a bit too strong and then acidentaly opened a scar. But Vic from Pierce The Veil helped me" I explained. "You met Vic?" he asked. He knew that I'm a fan of PTV and that I adore Vic. "Yeah, Vic. You don't know how much it took me to not freak out" I said and laughed. He laughed, too. "Well okay, I have to go and clear things with Ian" I said and stood up from the couch. "What do you need to clear?" he asked curious. "Well, we had a fight. First about that, that I again slept with you and then that he's kinda tired of always standing up for me and that I didn't say once 'thank you' to him" I explained the main thing. "Oh. I'm sorry that you fought about us" he apologized. "It's okay, it wasn't just because of you so it will be okay" I said and smiled. "Oh wait, here's your phone. You left it in the hotel room" he said and gave me my phone. I thanked and put it in my pocket. We said our goodbyes and then I left. I actually didn't want to talk to Ian already but I have to. I can't just stay out of his way for the rest of the tour. And I have to say at some point he's right. I think I said not enough that I'm thankful that he's always there for me. I mean, he was really ALWAYS there for me. I feel so sorry. Well, let's tell him that! I walked to our bus and opened the door. The first person that I said was Ian. It looked like he was the only one in the bus. "Hi, can we talk?" I asked quiet. He nodded and I walked towards him. "Listen, I'm so sorry. You're right. I said not enough 'thank you' to you and I'm so fucking thankful that you're always here for me. Since highschool you always stood up for me and protected me. I can't thank you enough for that" I explained and hoped for a friendly answer. "What about Jack?" he asked emotionless. "I just talked to him and we both agreed that we keep it a secret. Betweet us three. No one else should know that and we won't do it again. But this time it REALLY won't happen again" I said and even smiled a bit. He smiled, too and pulled me in a hug. "It's okay, sugar. I love being here for you and I overreacted a bit. And I'm glad that you talked to Jack and I'm glad that you don't want anyone to know that. But I have one question: what happened to your arm?" he asked and then released me from his arms. "It's nothing. I just scratched my arm a bit too strong and opened a scar. But don't panic [see what I did there?] Vic from Pierce The Veil helped me and put this bandage around it" I explained and he seemed happy with this answer. I bet he thought about the worst thing: cutting. But I promised him and myself that I will never ever do this again. And it last until now. "Okay, that's good. And you met Vic?" he asked and smiled bright. "Yeah I did. He's really nice" I said and started to fangirl. I'm a fangirl, okay? A really big fangirl, I can't help. But there are worse things than that. "Haha okay. Well let's go and buy you a pregnancy test" he joked. "Dude, that's not funny. And you have to wait some weeks to see if you're pregnant" I said and crossed my arms. "Oh, you're already an expert at it!" he joked. I punched his arm and stuck my tongue out. He laughed but still rubbed his arm in pain. Yeah, I'm strong, bro! "Let's go outside and meet new people" he suggested when he calmed down. I nodded and we went outside.