What do Legendaries get up to?

What mythicals get up to in their spare time

Mythicals get a lot of spare time, considering they can only be caught during an event of some sort.

Soooo here we go-

***

Mew: *holding gun to a magikarp* now, tell me why you are so useless
Celebi: tbh you kinda created it so why are you questioning it?
Arceus: now hold up Celebi, that ain't true
Mew: what that it's useless?
Arceus: no you said that, I mean that you created it
Celebi: but she did..?
Arceus: what the fuck do you think I did to this univer-
Mew: you made donuts
Arceus: good point actually I did

Jirachi: you also made cactuses
Celebi: I'm sorry the fuck is cactuses
Jirachi: I- *holds cactus to Celebi's face* this
Celebi: that's a cactus
Jirachi: yes s- oh
Jirachi: I MEAN CACTI

Arceus: yes I did make cacti, now where is the other Hoenn mythical
Jirachi: *points at Deoxys* over there
Deoxys: *searching for something*

Arceus: ah hello fellow mythical, what are you looking for may I ask?
Deoxys: my antidepressants
Celebi: Wait that's Palkia's job
Deoxys: ..wot
Arceus: Palkia isn't aloud antidepressants child
Celebi: did you just call me chi-
Mew: well technically you are cause Dialga is your father and Arceus is your boomer grandfather
Arceus: me and Dialga and genderless wtf
Mew: well the author makes me and some others female soooo
Celebi: ..wait

Jirachi: *holds Cacti to Victini's face* Do you want Cacti?
Victini: ..wtf Jirachi
Jirachi: I'm asking if you want Cacti
Victini: Wh- no
Victini: stupid Cactus
Jirachi: *gasp* DON'T LISTEN TO THEM CACTI, YOU AREN'T STUPID
Deoxys: *grabs Jirachi* ok come on now I need your help to find my antidepressants

Darkrai: ..where's Cresselia-
Arceus: awww do you miss her?
Darkrai: oh sh- nO
Shaymin: mhmm I totally believe you
Darkrai: shut the fuck up where is she
Arceus: She ain't a mythical you dumbo
Darkrai: Wh- but she's my counterpart why isn't she-
Shaymin: Yeah Arceus, why isn't Cresselia a mythical?
Arceus: because you can catch her in-game without an event, duh
Darkrai: WHY?
Arceus: the fuck am I supposed to know go ask Game Freak
Shaymin: STOP IT TOO MANY FOURTH WALL BREAKS

Victini: do you know what Jirachi just did?
Diancie: surely it can't be more bizarre than eating a cactus
Victini: hey that's an odd coincidence she actually offered me a Cacti
Diancie: no I mean she is literally eating a cactus
Victini: ..wait
Jirachi: *proceeds to eat cactus whilst Deoxys is grabbing her and looking for his antidepressants*
Victini: oh...
Diancie: yeah...

Arceus: Meltan, what pokemon did you eat today
Meltan: none
Arceus: are you sure?
Meltan: yes
Arceus: then why is there a piece of MAGNET under your uh... under you?
Meltan: ...
Arceus: did you eat another Magneton?
Meltan: *innocent eyes* no
Arceus: Magearna is he telling the truth
Magearna: no
Arceus: aight
Meltan: *sweating*
Arceus: you're gonna kill the whole Magneton population at this rate
Meltan: I can eat Beldums and Scizors if you want
Arceus: NO

Magearna: now hold up, ain't that cannibalism
Meltan: not unless I'm eating another Meltan or Melmetal
Arceus: Listen Beldum is ok but A WHOLE FREAKING SCIZOR?
Meltan: yeah, me and the boys grab it's hands and eat from there
Magearna: wait are you telling me you've ate a Scizor
Meltan: well yes
Arceus: ..aight uh time to hide every steel type possible
Magearna: wait a second, I'M A STEEL TYPE
Meltan: *licks imaginary lips with none existent tongue*
Magearna: oh sh- *run*

Calyrex: Alright Zarude did you hold my hoss as hostage?
Zarude: what nooooo
Arceus: hold up Calyrex tf are you doing here, you're a legendary
Calyrex: Zarude kidnapped my hoss and I can't go on without it
Arceus: tf is a hoss
Zarude: uh-
Calyrex: *points at a picture of a horse* THIS YA DUMBO
Arceus: I- *looks at Zarude*
Zarude: what would a monke want with a horse
Calyrex: aight no more haircuts are you
Zarude: ALRIGHT THEY'RE IN THE CLOSET
Arceus: HOW'D YOU FIT TWO FREAKING HORSES IN THE CLOSET
Zarude: DON'T QUESTION IT

***

Look idfk what I was doing here, I'm just trying to find an excuse to publish something cause I'm running out of ideas.
Also cause this book almost has 200 reads so eeee bye