What do Legendaries get up to?

What the legendaries of Kalos do in their spare time

wdicjjxksncns been a while so uh yes

also funny thing is i was actually writing a draft for this before it was requested, so uh- yeah

i swear the next chapter is part 2 of ct in a nutshell, then i'll do the request

also i watched the birds because apparently it's a disaster movie- anyways

***

Diancie: zyyyyyygaaaarddeeee
Zygarde: what
Diancie: can we play the pirate gaaaaaaame?
Zygarde: but hoopa is staying with lugia today
Diancie: why
Yveltal: are you sure he didn't abandon him or something?
Zygarde: i'd do the same tbh- *cough* i mean uh i hope not

*meanwhile, hoopa is stuck outside in the rain*

Xerneas: YVELTAL.
Yveltal: oh fu- uh, yes honey?
Xerneas: have you been hanging out with terrakion lately?
Zygarde: yes
Yveltal: shut up. and no
Xerneas: well i'm surprised since the KITCHEN IS BURNING

*screams are heard from inside*

Zygarde: xerneas never yells. yveltal, you're fucked
Yveltal: who tf was that screaming inside
Xerneas: volcanion
Zygarde: because the kitchen is on fire?? tf i thought he was PART fire

*volcanion walks in*

Volcanion: i am. i was watching a horror movie
Yveltal: in a burning kitchen??
Volcanion: idfk i'm part fire i couldn't care less about that
Xerneas: diancie you're a rock type go deal with it
Diancie: but the kitchen has cutlery
Yveltal: no shit sherlock
Zygarde: they're probably all melted now

Xerneas: and why are you bothered?
Diancie: i'm rock/fairy do the maths
*moment of silence before volcanion screams again*
Volcanion: SORRY. JUMPSCARE.
Zygarde: cutleries are stainless STEEL
Yveltal: oh... 4x weakness
Xerneas: well hoopa isn't here, is he?
Diancie: what do you expect me to do? mega evolve?

Yveltal: listen zygarde you have no right to talk, fucking snowflakes scare you
Zygarde; why are you mixing me and rayquaza up
Xerneas: shut up you two, uh, no. i expect you to diamond storm the kitchen
Diancie: you could just ask kyurem on advice about how to make sure a kitchen doesn't burn to the ground
Yveltal: i like the fact that she's ignoring you're part ground
Xerneas: oh you are, aren't you zygarde?

Zygarde: ...
Zygarde: fuck you yveltal

*and so zygarde goes and earthquakes the kitchen*

Yveltal: i'm not paying for that
Xerneas: i think i'm gonna go and call kyurem to ask him how he deals with this, i'll be back in a minute
*she leaves and zygarde flops onto the ground*
Zygarde: being a snek is hard
Zygarde: i want to be a dog
Yveltal: i can suck life source from you and you'll become a dog
Zygarde; what if i want to turn back into a snek
Yveltal: then eat more cells?
Zygarde: EAT?!
Yveltal: IDFK HOW DO YOU ATTACH THOSE THINGS TO YOUR BODY
Zygarde: IDK THEY KIND JUST LATCH ON

Hoopa: why are you screaming
Zygarde: OH FUCK RANDOM CHILD ALERT
Yveltal: WEEWOOOWEEEEWOOOO
Xerneas, on the phone with kyurem: uh, yeah. everything's fine. all normal. mhmm.

Volcanion: SHUT UP I CANT HEAR MY MOVIE
Diancie: he's watching spy kids 3
Volcanion: ...
Volcanion: *sweats* NO IM WATCHING PSYCHO
Zygarde: yveltal likes ligma so it's okay
Yveltal: I THOUGHT WE AGREED THAT WAS RAYQUAZA

Xerneas: didn't you get kicked off the group chat, zygarde?
Zygarde: yeah cause they didn't like my candice jokes smh
Yveltal; that's millennial humour tho
Zygarde: bruh we've been alive since 2013 just have a moment to think what that means
Yveltal: ...
Yveltal: wait

Xerneas: we're 8 years old??
Yveltal: wait WHAT
Zygarde: that time flew by, just like my life
Hoopa: *pulls out icicle shard from portal*
Zygarde: oh fuck

Xerneas: ohhh wait were millennials
Yveltal: NOOOOOOOOOO
Hoopa: why is that bad
Yveltal: because candice and ligma are apparently things that make me LAUGH
Zygarde: hoopa, i have some news for you... lugia likes ligma
Hoopa: ...
Hoopa: what

Yveltal: WE AGREED THAT WAS RAYQUAZA
Hoopa: rayquaza what??
Zygarde: likes ligma. ask kyogre
Xerneas: *slaps zygarde* shut up
Zygarde: i'm gonna get kicked out of here now aren't i
Yveltal: PLEASE DO
Xerneas: hmmmm
Xerneas: yes
Zygarde: fuck

*and so zygarde gets kicked out and is now stuck in the rain*

***

skfnnfksnskfb e

idk what to say um hope you enjoyed ig
i never say that shit what's up with me-

anyways uhh byeeeeeee