Chapter One

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Take 1, Scene 2

Chapter I

Edward POV

As we rushed back to Forks, my anxiety level grew higher and higher.
Alice could sense the tension in my body.
"Relax Edward. I'm sure everything's fine" she said, trying to calm me. But even Alice couldn't keep the horrible thoughts away.
"Is that why you can't see her?" I yelled through clenched teeth. My entire family froze. They hadn't known this yet. For the past hour of our trip back to my Bella, Alice and I had been going through every possibility as to why Alice couldn't see Bella's future. It caused me so much panic that I'd asked her to stop looking all together.

Just a few hours ago I'd finally caved in and decided to come back. I couldn't stay away anymore. I'd never considered myself to being alive ever since my change, but in the past few months I couldn't consider myself dead either.
It was so much worse than that. The emptiness, the grief, the endless internal fighting- it was excruciating.

Alice had been more than ready to shove us all in the car and speed back to Forks. She hadn't been doing very well since we left either. Mostly, she wanted to apologize to her best friend, her sister.
She'd seen that her not saying goodbye had taken a huge part in Bella's pain. Her anguish. She wanted to see Charlie too.

Even Rosalie wanted to see Bella. Well, kind of. She wanted to see our family whole, and she no longer cared if it would be completed by a human, or any other person.

"I'm sure it's fine" Alice muttered to herself, convincing herself that Bella was right there, where she'd seen her a few hours ago. In her bedroom, right there on that narrow bed.

We should've waited till nightfall to come. Running would be faster than driving. The flight from New York to Seattle went by at an impossibly slow rate.
The shorter flight from Seattle to Port Angeles went by quicker, but was more painful.

I could feel her pull the entire way. Knowing she was right there, it tore my heart out. As if it sprinted toward her, and I couldn't keep up.
She was right there.

My family all went through the same thought process Alice and I went through.
First, they tried to comprehend Alice's sudden blindness. Second, they'd tried to think of reasons for it, all of them coming to the same devastating conclusion- there was no one to watch anymore. Third, they all suppressed that thought, trying to think of better case scenarios.

When we arrived at Forks, I nearly tore the car door off. I was stopped by Jasper's hand on my shoulder, and felt the waves of calmness he sent towards me.
I slumped back into my chair. The pull and anguish was still there, i just couldn't find it in me to act in on them now.

We arrived at her house minutes later. I hunched forward in agony at the sight of that house. Just a few miles away, into the forest, I'd said goodbye all those months ago. In the kitchen I could now see through the small window, we'd enjoyed each other's company on the night after our day in the meadow.
"Don't be embarrassed" I'd said then. "If I could dream at all, it would be about you, and I'm not the least bit ashamed in it."  I remembered how she'd blushed red then, and how I'd held her close. How her warm scent engulfed me. There was no warmth now. For the first time in my existence, I felt cold.
I saw her bedroom window, and remembered all the nights we'd spent on her bed. How I'd sing her to sleep. How she'd murmur my name in her dreams. I remembered my last night on that bed. The night of her birthday. It was evident back then that she knew something was happening.

I stared at the house for a few minutes, reminiscing about all the wonderful moments we'd shared.
After I sorted through them all, I searched for Charlie, knowing I wouldn't be able to hear her.
With my hand already on the handle, i listened intently to his semi-silent mind.
Wonder when she'll be back.... dinner.... call Billy
That was all I got.
"She's not here" I murmured. Alice froze beside me, along with the rest of my family, all of them thinking the same thing. Oh god. She's dead. Before the devastation would crush my tiny sister, I hurried to explain. "She's gone out. Charlie's waiting for her to return." They all let out a heavy sigh.
Well, if she's not here yet, maybe we could go to the house. If we're staying here now, we should get it ready. We can come back tomorrow. Rosalie thought. I was about to protest, but then felt another strong wave of tranquility from Jasper, and couldn't find it in me to object. I wanted to yell at him for keeping me from seeing her, but his gift felt like anesthesia. I couldn't do anything.

We drove to our house in silence. Jasper focused hard on me, not letting himself waver in the slightest. With jasper never leaving my side, I went to the familiar house.
Esme had already begun taking the sheets off of everything, and dusting off everything in sight.
I just lied down on the couch, and waited for the heaviness of Jaspers gift to drift off.

Time stopped meaning anything. I couldn't feel it passing. In my mind, I imagined how it would be to reunite with her.

I'd walk up the steps to her front door, and knock. My family would let me go alone. Charlie would open it.
"Edward. How can I help you?" He'd ask. He wouldn't be pleased to see me, but he'd be polite, in respect for my father.
"Hello Charlie" I'd say with a friendly smile. "Is Bella here?" He'd allow me to see her, though he'd be reluctant to do so. He'd step aside to let me in, and I'd run up the stairs to her room.
I would knock, and she'd assume it was Charlie. She'd say "open", and expect him to enter her room.
She'd assume he'd be interested in dinner or something of sorts. I'd open the door slightly, and slide my head through. She'd by on her bed, reading a book. She wouldn't see me at first, so I'd clear my throat. She'd lower her book, and once she saw me, she would run into my arms. She'd never let go.
And we'll live happily ever after. That was my fantasy.

After god knows how long, the heaviness disappeared, and I stood up in a flash. A quick glance at my watch told me it was 6pm. Why had they waited so long???
As I looked away from my watch, I saw that they were all standing there, watching me.
Esme was sobbing into Carlisle's chest. Emmett was holding Rosalie so tightly, that if she were human, her bones would have been crushed.
Jasper was holding a shaking Alice.
There was anguish all around me.
"Edward..." Esme began. I could see what she was about to tell me. No! It wasn't real! I was still under Jasper's influence. Noooo!!!!
I flashed to Alice's side. "Show me!" I yelled. It couldn't be real! She would have nothing to show me! This wasn't real!
But she did show me, and I fell to my knees as I saw the worst thing I could imagine.
There was some mistake.

I ran to my car and drove to her house, going 170mph. I was there in minutes.
I couldn't bother with human speed. I flashed to the door, and knocked. I hoped with all I had that when the door opened, I wouldn't see what Alice showed me.
Charlie opened the door for me. He expected someone much shorter, because his eyes scaled up until they reached mine. His thoughts already told me Alice was right, but I refused to believe it.
"Edward?" He asked. His voice was husky, his eyes were red, his nose was stuffy and the bags under his eyes were very dark and deep.
I swallowed against the dryness in my throat. No I wasn't thirsty. I just felt dry.
"Is Bella here?" I asked, my voice cold and distant.
Charlie's eyes filled with tears as he began to answer me. His voice shook and he struggled to keep himself from collapsing.
"I'm sorry. Bella... s-s-sh-sh-she died, E-Edward. She went out yesterday, and she never c-came back. They found traces of her b-blood and a few hairs. They said there were signs of struggle. They assume it was an animal attack" he couldn't keep it together anymore. "I'm sorry" he whispered as he shut the door in my face.
My knees failed to keep me standing and I fell towards the floor. Someone grabbed me before my face would hit the concrete. I assumed it was Emmett, but I couldn't look. I couldn't make myself care.
She was gone.
Sick voices erupted from my chest and I began sobbing. I didn't think I could ever stop.
And I wasn't the only one. All of them were sobbing.

I couldn't tell what happened from there. It all came and went and there was nothing to hold on to.
She was gone. My beautiful Bella, gone.

The worst part was that I felt my memory of her slipping away.
Of course I could never forget, but my memory of her was too painful.
It all became fuzzy, as if they were human memories.
She was completely slipping away. After all I'd done to her, I couldn't stop her.

I prayed, to any god there might be out there, that she'd found piece. That she was somewhere good. And secretly, to myself, I wished that part of me was there with her. That she'd decided to take a little piece of me with her into whatever lied ahead.

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I hope you enjoyed!
Next chapter is from Bella's POV, and 15 years later.
You should know, that in order for this story to work, I changed Bella's gift a bit.
Alice's and Jaspers gifts won't work on her either. She is a shield. Not just mental anymore.
I hope you don't mind.

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