Eenie Meenie Minie Mo

Chapter Forty-One

“Can I ask you something?”

  I drew in a soft breath, preparing myself for anything. “Yes.”

  He let the moment drag on for another minute before meeting my eyes. His expression alone told me I wasn’t going to like whatever he said, but I refused to look away. “Do you love him?”

  For a few seconds I didn’t even breathe. I was sure the look on my face told Sawyer everything he needed to know and more, but I still murmured, “Yes.”

  I loved Leander Verona.

  Being in love should feel like walking on clouds—or sunshine. It should be about endless smiles and high pitched giggles. The world should feel right and in balance. Yet all I could feel was despair.

  My thoughts swam in the dark spaces within my mind. How could I be rejoicing in something that caused my best friend to sit at a different table at lunchtime? How could I even think about giggling when the only time Sawyer would meet my eyes was to share a half-hearted smile? What made it all worse was that I understood why he was keeping his distance. He was trying to give me space, to let me sort things out.

  “How can you sort out anything when you won’t even talk to Leander?” Maddie asked me one day after school.

  It was a wonder she hadn’t cracked sooner. Four days I’d been moping around, sighing gloomily and staring off into the general direction of Sawyer. If the tables had been turned and Maddie were the one acting like me, I probably would have snapped two days ago.

  “I know,” I relented around a sigh. “It just feels wrong and…..too soon.”

  “Honey.” My friend reached over and grasped my hand. “You can’t wait too long.”

  I knew that. I really did. But every time I looked at Sawyer, I choked up. There was just no way I could tell Leander. It’d be better if I just stayed away from love in general until my feelings for Leander went away.

  “I don’t think you realize he’s waiting for you,” Maddie said suddenly.

  “Who is?”

  “Sawyer.”

  I drew in a slow breath. “I know that, too.”

  “Then what’re you going to do?”

  Shaking my head, I murmured, “That, I don’t know.”

  “Alright, no worries. I’m here to tell you what you’re gonna do,” my southern friend bossed. “Are you ready?”

  I let my shrug be my answer.

  Taking it as a yes, Maddie plowed on, “Kodi, you owe it to yourself to figure out what this thing with Leander is. Sawyer gets that, and he’s giving you that chance. He was really sweet about this whole thing, even when he clearly didn’t wanna be. Don’t you think it’d be kinda flipping him off if you just didn’t do anything?”