Starting Over

5

"Where have you been?" I heard Taylor as I walked into our room.

I slammed the door "Out."

"Damn, what's up your ass?"

"I saw Hayes." I said while taking off my jacket.

"And?" Taylor asked, suddenly more interested than before.

I sat down on my bed, taking a brief pause before answering "I kissed him."

"What?!" Taylor jumped from her spot, to sit next to me. Her eyes were wide and her jaw could hit the floor.

I had to replay the scene for myself before I could even try to tell the story to someone else.

I wasn't even thinking. I grabbed his face and planted a rough kiss on his lips. I could easily recall the feeling it gave me to have his mouth on mine after so long.
I was waiting to feel it again, but all I could do was compare.
The Sparks that use to come with his kiss. The butterflies in my stomach. The taste of his mouth. The sweet smell of his cologne. Feeling his soft lips on mine. I remember his kiss as if it hadn't been over a year since last time.
But now, that feeling that his kiss once gave me is just a distant memory.
It was all gone.
This time... it wasn't the same.
The Sparks had died. The butterfly feeling turned into my stomach turning as if I was sick. All I tasted was left over drug flavors. I could hardly smell his cologne over the burning odor of old smoke that must have seeped into his cloths. His lips were no longer soft, they were cracked and dry.
I couldn't even hold the kiss for longer than two seconds before I had to get away from him.
There really was nothing left of how he made me feel. I can now honestly say I am over everything I ever had for him.

"I just thought," I started, "there was hope, you know? I thought there would still be something there, something to feel."

"And was there?"

"No... I was utterly disgusted."

"A year ago," Taylor said "I would have thought you two were soulmates."

I sighed, "Me too."

•••

•••NEXT DAY•••

The room was empty and quiet aside from me finishing up with unpacking my boxes.
Suddenly the door swung open followed by Taylor, "SAM!"

I jumped, holding my hand on my racing heart from fright.

"What are you doing?" She looked at me like I was insane.

"Unpacking?" I said, confused, "Am I suppose to be doing something else?"

"Get ready!"

"Ready for what?"

"I texted you! We're going to a party tonight!"

I picked up my phone and saw that she did text me over an hour ago.

"I don't know, I'm not really a party person anymore." I confessed.

Taylor looked at me like I had five heads. "Then you shouldn't have come to a party school. Come on, you used to be insane at parties!"

When I looked back at the years she wasn't wrong. In high school I was at a party almost every weekend. I never did anything insanely stupid but I was often one to get drunk, and I loved to party all night. I wasn't a alcoholic or anything like that, but I definitely drank plenty.
I only stopped because I know how risky college parties can be. They're so easy to get caught, especially with the use of fake IDs for alcohol and all the drugs that people bring for themselves.
I thought about it for a few minutes, not sure I wanted to get into parties like I used to, but finally decided to go after Taylor began pouting her lip begging me to go. She jumped for a joy and soon enough we were both getting ready.
I straightened my long brown hair to a perfect crips. On my face I applied a thin line of eye liner on the top and bottom, followed by mascara. I was lucky to have clear skin so I didn't need much cover up.