Starting Over

10

I had a little too much work to catch up on. Thank god I had an elective to manage the library, which didn't really need much managing, so i had the keys to the place. I stayed in late after the library was supposed to be closed. It was the best place I could concentrate.
It was nearly 1AM, everyone had gone back to their rooms and all the lights were shut except for the library where I still was. All was quiet, a little creepy actually, but it didn't bother me. I was filling my brain with dates and names I missed in class. When suddenly I heard the sound of a floor creek. I looked up but ignored it with an uneasy feeling. I looked up again at the sound of books falling to the ground.
I closed my text book, standing up to look around, "Hello?"
There wasn't a sound. I walked towards the aisle of books with only my phone, not bothered enough to get the rest of my belongings. I looked down each of the aisles but saw no one. When I came back to the desk my keys were missing from sitting on my stack of papers. I snapped around when I heard more books falling and some two people laughing followed by the sound of their shuffling feet.
"Cut it out!" I yelled "This isn't funny!"
I slowly, again, tried to find who ever was messing with me. Walking down each aisle. I jumped when a book fell next to my head. I looked through the empty spot on the shelf, someone quickly ran past. I sprinted to the next aisle but no one was there. I was spinning in circles trying to see who else was in the library. I screamed when something shattered next to me. I turned around, I still saw no one. I bent down to pick up what ever was broken on the wall right next to me. It was glass, someone threw glass at me. I felt shakes and uneasy. As I slowly stood up a hand forcefully grabbed me, covering my mouth and wrapping a blind fold over my eyes. I pushed and pulled but couldn't break free. My heart was racing and my whole body was shaking. My feet dragged along the floor as the person pulled me away. I didn't know where I was, all I heard was a door slam and lock. I was pushed against a wall, but not hard, I slid my back down it and curled in a ball. I didn't take the blind fold off, I was too afraid to see what was in front of me. I was quivering.
I flinched when I felt the smooth hands grab my wrists and jerk me up to stand on my feet.
"Shhhhh." The voice whispered in my ear.
I felt a cold mental along my neck.
"Please." I said ever so silently.
The blind fold was ripped from my eyes, but I kept them closed tight.
"Open your eyes."
At the second I stopped the shaking and fear as it turned to anger.
I opened my eyes to see him in front of me.
"God dammit! Screw you Hayes!" I yelled and punched his shoulder.

"Don't be like that babe." He smirked at me, closing his arms around me.

"You gave me a heart attack! Fuck off! Let me go!"

"You used to think my pranks were funny." He tilted his head.

"I used to think a lot about you." I spat, pushing him away from me and walking away from him. I couldn't believe him.

"We used to get along!" He called out, "What happened to that?"

I ignored him and kept walking.

"Hey!" He yelled, grabbing my arm to turn me around, "Don't ignore me!"

"Don't grab me! You don't touch me!" I snapped at him. I swear he knew how to push my buttons.

"Why don't you answer me then?" Hayes let go of me.

"What happened to that? You want to know what happened?"

Hayes stood his place, nodding for me to answer his question.

"You turned into this!" I explained, gesturing my hands at what he is now, "You turned into this ass hole druggie."

***HAYES POV***

"And what was I before?" I agrued.

She was acting as if I was cordial and innocent when we first met.
Does she not remeber? Does she not remember the reputation I always had?

"You were still an asshole druggie... but you were also mine." she softly said. "You were different."

I loved hearing Sam call me hers, but what killed the feeling was the way she used it in past tense. It was just another reminder that I'm not hers and she is not mine anymore.

"But Sam," I moved closer, taking her hands in mine, "I'm still the same guy you fell in love with."

I said it with all honesty. I know it seems so far from the truth but I was not telling her a lie. I am the same person. I can go back to that, with time I can. If it means I can have Sam just one more time I'll go back. She changed me once, why can't she do it again?

"I'm sorry Hayes, but you're not." Sam looked away like she couldn't look me in the eyes.
She loosened her hands from mine, again walking away from me.

I felt cold without her hands in mine, I felt left and alone just watching her walk away from me so easily. I didn't want anything more than for her to love me. I had that once just a few short years ago, how did I ever let her go?

I know they say to stop. I know they say to give up. I know they say to move on. I know they say it will get better. I know they say the pain will go away. I know they say it's for the best. But what does anyone know about how I feel?

Why would I give up on the girl who is my soul reasoning for breathing? How could anything get better if I gave up on Sam, or on us. Even though there is no us at the moment, I'm not giving up on it.

But it's hard fighting for something when all she does is push me away.

I know deep down inside Sam still cares. She can't just let go of everything we had together, everything we were. Could she?

"Then what am I suppose to do?" I whimpered.

***SAMS POV***

"I need you to move on." I turned around at a distance, "You need you to realize that what we had in the past is gone... and it's not coming back."

I didn't say another word. I only looked at him, looked at the longing in his expression and the tears that made his eyes glassy.
I wanted nothing more than to run into his arms and hug him. I wanted to stop him from crying but I kept my distance. I stayed away because I know all I would expect is the old Hayes, the one I haven't seen for years.
I pulled myself together and walked to the door. I stopped when I realized I had to lock up.
I went back over to Hayes, "I need to lock up.
He was looking at me like he was expecting me to say something else, I don't know what he could have expected from me though.
He sighed and walked out without even looking at me.

I walked out behind him, but in no way wanted to walk with him or even near him. I hardly even wanted to know him.

Hayes turned around, "I just wanted to make you happy."

"Then forget everything we were."

"Forget?" Hayes raised his voice, "Forget everything?! Forget meeting you? Forget taking you to the skate park in the middle of the night? Forget how I had already planned out asking you to prom? Forget how I would have done anything for you? Forget our first kiss? Forget out first date? Forget the night we..."

I knew what he meant. The night we had sex.

"Please," I whispered trying to hold back my tears, "please stop."

"Stop and forget, right?" he said, "Forget everything. Forget the way I felt about you, the way you felt about me. Just forget it all?"

I only nodded, he was messing with my head acting like he was the old Hayes. But he's not and I know it. He's an idiot, a teenager, a sterotypical teenager, a bad influence, a jerk.

Finally he said "Fine." and walked away while I was last standing in the empty collage roads about to burst into tears, still looking at the ground because I simply could not bare to see his face.

All I wanted was to forget. Both of us. Forget.