If I Have You

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Kimberly's POV

"You will find love, and everything that you hope for, but you will never truly be happy." The fortune teller had said to me years ago on the streets of Hong Kong.

And for the first time in years, her words were ever so vivid in my thoughts. They were in my head, pushing out every other thought until they dominated, until they were all I could think about, until I could hear her voice ever so clearly in my head.

"Death is all around you, Kimberly Hastings." She had said.

And I could see it now.

I had found love, and happiness, and everything I had hoped for. And now, after so much time, after so many tribulations, after all the hurt, now that we were finally in a good place, I was about to have everything taken from me.

I felt tears cloud my vision as I moved my gaze so I was staring at the dashboard. And I kept my eyes fixed on the signs on it, holding my breath as my knees trembled.

"She knew that Samuel held a grudge against us and she brought him to the party anyway." Keenan continued and his words echoed over and over again in my head as he spoke. "Things got so fucked up, Kim. Things g-got so out of control. Sam he, he went after Roxi. He went after Roxi and in an attempt t-to save her Jason-" He breathed. "Jason shot Sam."

"It- it was self defense and he didn't mean to. Jase is not a bad person, you've met him." He added, his voice quivering. "Sure, he can be a little bit controversial at times but believe me when I say that everything happened in the spur of the moment."

I was still holding my breath and I was beginning to feel the air in my lungs grow thin. I was beginning to suffocate in my skin. And it was sickening that I felt relief in the pain. So I held on for a little bit longer. I held my breath for a little while longer.

"Jason p-panicked, he panicked and he ran. Wh-which is totally understandable. He was wrong, he was. But he got scared, and he ran." He stuttered, his breathing heavy. "S-Samuel was bleeding out and we couldn't move him with all the guests at the party and Gloria, she- she said she could help. She said she could fix it, okay? She said that she could make everything better and I just, I needed for everything to be better." He paused. " Your mother, Gloria, she put a bullet in his head. She killed Sam Levine." He breathed. "Gloria killed Sam Levine." He repeated. "She said that he would have bled out anyway and that she was going to take care of it. She said that she would take care of it as long as we did what she wanted."

As long as he married me.

As long as he gave her three million dollars.

I shut my eyes and breathed finally, feeling tear drops roll down my cheeks. I placed a hand over my forehead and then whimpered, my other hand finding its way to my chest area and I felt my fingers curl around the fabric of my dress, squeezing until my knuckles turned white.

I couldn't describe what it was I was feeling but it was overwhelming, and it was pain, and it was sucking the oxygen right out of my lungs, threatening to tear me apart.

It was a voice in my head and it was screaming out at me, saying that maybe I didn't deserve to be happy, saying that no matter what I did, no matter who I loved, I was never going to be able to lead a normal life. That I was bound to love the wrong people over and over again.

You will find love, and everything you hope for, but you will never truly be happy.

"I was wrong Kim." Keenan continued. "I know that there is nothing in the world that can make what I did okay. But I am willing to make amends." He added. I winced. "I am going to turn myself into the police tomorrow." He said before he let out an exasperated sigh and then sniffed. "If it's not too much to ask, Kimberly, can you stay with me?" He breathed turning to face me. "I'm about to loose every single thing that I have worked hard to build and protect my entire life." He sniffed again, heaving out a heavy breath afterwards. "But after all this is over, Kimberly, if I have you-" He paused. "Can you stay with me,Kim?"

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