Vana Illusíon

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Keenans's POV.

"Welcome,Mr. Monroe." Jonathan, the butler greeted as I walked into the house. I nodded slowly in response,my forehead glistened with sweat. I pulled the hoodie of my grey sweatshirt off my head as I made for the kitchen, my footsteps echoing through the seemingly empty house. I turned the lights on and then stole a quick glance at the wall clock as I made for the fridge.

It was few minutes past one am.

I was pretty sure the only reason Jonathan wasn't asleep yet was because somehow, I had decided that twelve midnight was suddenly I good time to go for a run. I meant to clear my head.

I had to clear my head.

To get my thoughts together.

I pulled the fridge open and then got a bottle of water. I turned the cork till it came open and helped myself to a long drink. I felt much better.

Much better would be the word if I was actually trying to quench the thirst I was feeling..... but there was something else.. something was wrong with me, with my emotions, with my thoughts. I was only trying to help her....to be nice to her.

Why?

Because we were married.

Because I promised Gloria I'd give her a good life.

Because she'd had a couple of shitty weeks... and I knew exactly what she was going through.

I lost my dad at a very young age. I lost Meg,I lost our child.

There were countless reasons why I was doing this....but my mind kept on reading other goddamn things into it. I sat on one of the stools in front of the breakfast bar, getting out my wallet as I did. I opened the wallet and then got out a small passport photograph. I sighed.

I examined the picture carefully, tracing the lines of her face carefully with my thumb.

I did this sometimes when I had to remember. To remember what her face looked like. I didn't want to forget.

She and Kimberly were two entirely different people. Megan was bold,and outspoken. She was not afraid to share her views,or to stand up for what she believed in. Easily angered and quick to forgive.....wild. She was the kind of woman that didn't need protection.
Kimberly on the other hand was way to good for someone born of Gloria. But then,except from the day at the party,she didn't always speak her mind so it made you wonder exactly what she was thinking. She had very descriptive eyes that gave her emotions away sometimes. She was kind. She was naive.... confused. Reserved?

And God was she beautiful.

She was Gloria's daughter and so despite everything, I knew that she would take care of herself.... That she didn't need protection. But still,I felt like I had to protect her.

I drew in a deep breath and then
exhaled.

"I don't know what I'm doing, Meg." I said softly.

I didn't.

I didn't have an idea what I was doing, or what I was supposed to do from here.

As cliché as it sounds,Megan was my soulmate.

For a long time, life without her meant work, and more work. And now that I actually found myself in a situation where I was actually starting to care for somebody else, I didn't know what to do.

"I don't know what I'm doing." I continued, almost in a whisper. " What am I supposed to do, Meg?" I pouted and then traced my jawline. "You used to always have the answers to everything." I smiled faintly. "What am I supposed to do?" I asked, almost in a whisper.

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