Weeds

Weeds - Chapter Forty One

Practice makes perfect, that’s something you're told your entire life. Its something I was told while I was being potty trained, its something I was told when learning how to read, its something I was told when I was learning how to play the guitar and it was something I was told every time I did a math equation. I had always thought this to be true, it is the only logical thing, why would humans try to do anything if you wouldn’t eventually be good at it? 

But what no one tells you is that it heart break never gets easy. 

When you think of heart break you automatically think that someone got dumped or cheated on or maybe someone died. 

I didn’t know that you're heart could physically hurt, from something that happened to someone else, not today but years ago. 

People say that if you ever get to this level of compassion its because you’ve been through a similar experience but as I heard Elliott scream , no matter how quiet it was my heart shattered. 

Little fragments cutting open my veins and my scratching my bones, I could feel every hair follicle on my body stand on edge and I felt my heart grow cold from the amount of pain that was in the sound. 

At first my only reaction was to make it stop but it went as fast as it came, the sound residing through him. The muted TV lit the room enough for me to see Elliott struggling against something in his sleep. 

He had always seemed so serene in his sleep but not now. 

His arms were pinned above his head by an invisible force, his lips were pressed together and his eyes squeezed shut, his pale skin was flushed with an unhealthy tint. 

His breathing was labored and I knew that no matter how many times I saw that scene replay in my mind I would never get use to it, I would never be able to perfect the act of not getting my heart broken by the man in front of me.  

It was as if my sense finally came back to me and I realized that I could needed to wake him up. 

I pushed off my bed , only resulting in my near demise as a blanket I had not seen was covering me. I reached Elliott , not knowing what to do I placed my hand on his wrist, willing him to wake up but he only shuttered. 

I put my other hand on his shoulder, the outstanding cold that generally only over took his hands had spread through out his upper body. I ran my fingers down his cheek watching as Goosebumps over took his skin and he relaxed slightly, the tension in his body slowly fading. When his whole body was at ease I slowly brought myself to lay beside his sleeping form. 

I could only imagine what type of night mare he had been facing.  I grabbed his arm and gently wrapped it around me as I settled on my side. The warmth in the small cottage was enough to keep me warm and from the way Elliott was sweating cold a blanket was not a good idea. 

I had always thought that I would be disgusted to touch sweaty people, as I had always been in the past but I wasn’t anymore. Nothing about Elliott disgusted me. 

I grabbed his hand with both of my hands and bringing it to rest under my chin. 

Elliott shifted and I froze, not wanting him to wake up anymore. 

He settled and unconsciously pulled my closer to his chest like a little boy with a teddy bear. 

I waited a few moments until he was no longer moving and I leaned my face onto his hand, kissing it lightly. 

A loud knock the next morning made my eyes shoot open, trying to find the source of the noise. Something restricted me from moving and I remembered the events that had occurred only a few hours prior. Sunlight flooded in through the curtains and the knock persisted.