BREAK ME (SEQUEL :SAVING H.S)

chapter thirty-four

Harrys pov

Once again, I felt bad about the way I was treating Rory but at the same time I dont  . I  dont know how to describe it, it feels like an adrenaline rush when we're arguing and when I'm being awful and disrespectful towards her but once I'm away from the situation the guilt creeps in and seeps into my entire body. It feels like i've had the wind knocked out of me, thats how hard the guilt hits me after Rory and I argue. 

But I can't seem to stop it and I dont know why. When I argue  with the others I feel bad when it's happening as well as after the argument has happened. With taylor, we dont argue. It's weird, we just agree on everything, we always have and I know for a fact that we always will. I trust her and I know she trusts me, I've never given her a reason not to trust me and neither has she and I love that.

When Rory and I were together for that short period of time, it was odd. Not that she or I were odd, but the relationship was. I felt like we were always gonna fight and I knew that when we fought it wasn't going to be a pretty sight on my behalf. I know I have some anger issues, but for some reason she brought out the worst in me ever since that day. 

That's why I'm glad we're not together anymore, I feel like the old me and the old me is who I know and who I am comfortable being, when I was with Rory I changed, and I didn't like the man I was becoming when I was with her, so it's a lot better that we're not together. I'm me again and theres no way I'm going back to the Harry that I was when I was with Rory.

MEANWHILE 

Rorys pov

I don't know why I keep saying I should leave every day. It's feels like I'm in this vicious cycle of wanting to stay and then talking to that jerk then wanting to leave but I can't because i don't want to let other people down.

I wish I could just block him out of my life but I can't. It's sort of like wanting to eat something that you know doesn't agree with you but you can't stop because it tastes so good. 

Was that a good example ?? I don't even know..

I was currently watching the boys rehearsal for the show tonight. It was like any other rehearsal but at the same time it felt different. The music, stage and the colours were all the same but something felt off.

Maybe because I hadn't eaten yet, which could be the reason since its not wise to not feel this girl, or it could be the Blondie that is currently glaring at me from the side of the stage.

I know she's trying to be subtle but subtle and Taylor don't go in the same sentence.

I want to say something but I can hear my mum in my head saying to just ignore and be the bigger person.

I'm too tired right now to care so I decided to go back to my hair and makeup room. As I'm walking I can hear blondie mumble something underneath her breath but I cant quite catch what she's saying. Not that I should care really, but thinking back about what Zayn said makes me wish I would've caught what she  had said. 

And I knew for a fact that she was talking about me, not because i'm up myself or anything, but it was the fact that I could feel that she was watching me as I walked off whist she was talking  to whoever it was that she was talking to. 

Earlier, when I noticed she was watching the boys, more so Harry than anybody else, I had no idea who she was with, they wore all baggy black clothes which  made it hard to determine whether it was male or female, but I did hear them and I can confirm she was speaking to a make. However; when the male spoke, for some weird ass reason, the voice sounded oddly familiar to me but do you think for the life of me I could remember where I heard the voice? if you said no then you'd be correct. 

Once I entered my hair and makeup room I was still trying to figure out who that mystery voice who Taylor was talking to belonged too and then it suddenly it  hit me..

It was my producer ......

Derick