Dear Diary

Chapter 109

[A/N] Please note that there are trigger warnings in this chapter and the next, so PLEASE read with caution.

THE NUMBER YOU HAVE DIALED IS NOT AVAILABLE. PLEASE LEAVE A MES-

Sophia tightened her lips into a thin line as she pulled her phone away from her ear and pressed the red button on the screen. She took a deep breath and leaned forward in her seat, resting her elbow on the table as she raked a hand through her hair.

She wasn't sure what to make of it. Her dad was running extremely late and he wouldn't answer her calls. It would just go straight to voicemail without even ringing. The whole evening she's been trying to keep a small voice in the back of her mind at bay, but as the minutes and gradual hours ticked by, that voice was growing louder and louder.

He's not coming.

Sophia sighed as she rubbed her forehead, before pausing and glancing up at the ceiling before scoffing. She was a fool, she really was. Only an idiot would believe that someone could change after eighteen years. It was time she faced the facts. Her father wasn't coming, he never had any intention of coming. He had no interest in her whatsoever.

The thought hurt her deeply, but it was time she accepted it. Her father didn't love her. He never did and never will.

Sophia slowly felt her anger grow as she glared at the food she made. She suddenly felt sick: sick of the sight of the food she worked so hard to prepare, sick of the fact that she was so gullible, sick of her dad, and sick of her life. 

Her face contorted in anger as she shoved herself away from the table, her chair screeching on the flooring as she did, and she marched up to her room.

She was sick of everything!

-

Sophia didn't sleep at all that night, she just lay in bed awake the entire while, tossing and turning as she thought of her life. Her pathetic life, to be specific. 

She just couldn't believe herself. After all these years, you would think that she would've gotten the hint that her father never wanted her in his life. He had given her false hope tonight and she had blindly leapt at the chance, yet deep down she knew she was fooling herself. 

Her father wasn't going to be there.

As the night wore on and exhaustion came over Sophia, she found the anger slowly evaporating from her body to be replaced by a strange feeling of numbness and acceptance. Her father didn't want her in his life, so why did she even bother any more. She was clearly a burden to him ... to everyone.

If her father didn't love her, how much more did the others not care? 

Although her heart fought against it, claiming that Luke did care for her, Sophia refused to believe her heart anymore. She had allowed herself to feel hope at being able to bond with her father, but she finally learnt her lesson. 

He didn't want to see her, he didn't want to talk to her, and he didn't want her.

The whole evening of him not pitching was probably his plan all along. Why would he care now all of a sudden anyway? She finally turned eighteen – legally able to fend for herself. This must be her dad's way of severing the ties with her. Ties that were invisible string to begin with.

Sophia sighed and turned on her side. 

If her father didn't want her anymore, a man who is supposed to love her till death, then ... what was the point of her still living on this earth? Because clearly no-one wanted her on it anyway.

-

"Hey, Mindy," Luke greeted that Monday morning as he noticed the petite girl waiting in her usual spot for Sophia.