Dear Diary

Chapter 78

I don't know how long Cole and I stood there with me sobbing uncontrollably into his chest while he had wrapped his arms firmly around me. He had pulled my hair out of its elastic and began to stroke his fingers through the long strands to try and calm me.

I wasn't always sobbing like this though. At first I screamed and Cole had buried my face into his chest in an attempt to muffle it, knowing that someone would hear me and come running, thinking I'm being attacked. I resisted his hold by thrashing about and punching at his chest to get him away, before realising it was futile and collapsed into a heap against him and began crying my eyes out.

"You're okay," Cole said soothingly as he stroked my hair with one hand and rubbed my back with the other.

I whimpered and clutched onto his shirt, not caring that I creased it. "You're going to die," I sobbed. 

I felt his hands pause before he gave a low sigh. He placed his hands on my shoulders and slowly pushed me away to look into my eyes.

"Elizabeth, what happened to your brother ... it was an accident. It doesn't mean the same will happen to me," he said, eyes as soft as melted butter.

"But ..." I hiccupped, "it also doesn't mean that it won't."

Cole looked down and remained silent as I sniffed and rubbed the tears from my puffy eyes. I know I care about him. Why else would I freak at the image my mind conjured? But I've already lost one person close to me ... I can't lose another.

Cole looked back into my eyes and his hands slowly trailed down my arms to hold my hands. "Just trust me, okay? Nothing's going to happen." 

I looked up at his comforting gaze and then at the bike. My heart raced in fear but Cole gave my hands a gentle, encouraging squeeze.

I pressed my lips together and gave one slow, very hesitant nod. Cole's face softened completely as he let go of one of my hands to cup my cheek and wipe the tears away with his thumb. 

"That's my girl."

I tried not to focus on the tingles his touch sent throughout my body or the buzz his words created as he bent down to pick up our discarded helmets. He gently placed the white one on my head and strapped me in. Thankfully this one didn't have a screen or else I would feel rather claustrophobic.

Once Cole put his own helmet and gloves on, keeping the tinted screen up so I could see his eyes, he softly held my hands and began to coax me towards the bike. Instead of watching the bike this time, I focused solely on Cole's chocolate eyes and, sooner than I realised, we were standing next to the black machine.

My stomach flew into my throat as my body desperately wanted to switch to 'flight' mode, but Cole's comforting hold on my hands kept me grounded. I watched, apprehensive, as Cole swung one leg over the bike and kicked down the stand-peg before looking at me. I swallowed harshly as I slowly placed my left foot on the footrest and froze.

"It's okay," Cole said, his voice slightly muffled from the helmet.

My knees began to shake and I glanced at his eyes to see them silently encouraging me. Before I could think better of it, I quickly flung my right leg over the bike and instantly wrapped my arms around Cole's torso. I buried my face deep into his back, feeling guilty for the way I knew the helmet would dig into him, but not able to find the courage to do otherwise.

"You okay?" he asked and I held onto him tighter.

"Just ... promise you'll go slowly?" I asked in a quiver.

"I'll go as slow as you want," Cole's steady voice replied and I could only nod.

My grip turned vice-tight on him once he started the engine and a low rumble surrounded me. They were louder than I remember ... but I couldn't deny that the sound was a bit sexy, kind of like its owner. My eyes shot open at the thought.