Dear Diary

Chapter 90

It's been about two weeks since Cole and I made-up and things couldn't be going better. My ribs were healing well so I could start doing a very light jog, and my bruises were almost completely gone.

Going to school after a week had been ... interesting. The bruises on my neck were still visible so I had to put concealer on them and that was a mission and a half to make it look natural. Richard informed me that he told my friends the same story that we told my parents when they grew concerned about me not showing up on the third day. Let's just say that they began to treat me like a fragile china vase; I never had to carry my heavy book bag anywhere.

The other day it was exactly a month that I started dating Cole. Of course we couldn't go out anywhere to celebrate but I didn't mind, I was just happy to be with him.

But I can't help but notice how Cole became more protective of me. When we go for walks in the park, his hold becomes a little firmer when we pass any guy and he always makes sure to be the barrier between me and any stranger. 

Some people would get irritated by that behaviour but it just makes my heart flutter madly when he does that. He's not a very affectionate guy, but his actions speak volumes about how much he cares for me. Is it possible for me to be so lucky?

Also in the last two weeks Cole's sister was finally discharged from the hospital (she's living with Cole and his Aunt Stella's family now) and Clayton's trial began. He was found guilty of a several number of charges and given a hefty prison sentence. It felt as though a ton was lifted off my shoulders, knowing that I won't see him again for a long time.

I also took up my mom's advice and went to a few sessions of therapy. I didn't think I needed it, but when I shied from Cole's hand that time, it made me rethink it.

Basically the sessions were just to help me get over the instinct of flinching whenever someone came near me. My therapist explained that fear is something you have to work on straight away or else it will just grow and blow out of proportion. I knew that all too well. When my brother died in that motorbike accident it took me seven years to get back on a motorbike. Imagine what would eventually happen if I didn't confront my flinching?

Of course, Cole helped me a lot to get over my fears. Initially he was very slow and cautious in holding my hand and wrapping an arm around me, but now after two weeks, I'm completely back to normal.

Cole and I would also go on bike rides every other day or so, but we could never go fast or far because Dobey (who comes with every time) wouldn't be able to keep up with us otherwise. 

I still can't believe that I let seven years of fear keep me from doing one of my favourite things. Motorbikes just have a certain quality about them that is a huge stress-reliever. That and also it gives me an excuse to hug Cole's back for about fifteen minutes.

In fact I was coming home from meeting up with Cole at the moment, Dobey was still panting from the good run he had following Cole's bike. I made my way through the living-room, not really bothering that my mom was sitting in her reading chair, and walked to my bedroom. After closing the door, I walked to my bookshelf and began scanning the contents for one thing in particular.

I was planning to write in my diary about my good day when my heart skipped a beat. My yellow hardcover wasn't where I always put it. Panic shot through me and I ran to my desk, but it wasn't there. I opened the drawers. Not there either.

I then proceeded to turn my whole room upside-down in an effort to find it. How is it possible for it to gain legs and just walk out my room? I know I left it in here because I never take it anywhere! So where could it have gone?

"Lizzy, come here please!" my mom called and I groaned as I threw pillows off my bed (one successfully hitting Dobey in the face) and my eyes darted around my room.

"I'm a little busy right now!" I called back, trying to hide the panic in my voice, and pulled open my underwear draw as I tossed the contents aside. 

Where is it?

"Lizzy, come here now!" my mom yelled firmly and I sighed. 

Shaking my head, I left my room quickly and trotted towards the living-room with Dobey behind me.

"Yes?" I asked when I looked at my mom who was still seated in her reading chair. 

She looked up and her face was set in a firm line.

"What's this?" she asked and held up an object in her hand. 

My eyes grew wide when I recognised the cover. 

My diary.