Imprinted Memories

Too Late For A Getaway But Never Too Late For Heartfelt Conversations

A few minutes later Jace came back with Madzie carrying her on his hips.

"This little sweet tooth here heard there might be some petit fours left at this table."

"And there goes my secret stash."

"Clary, you already get cake to go. Let us have the petit fours."

"Okay, I give in."

"We can share if you want to."

"No, it's okay, sweet pea. Enjoy them."

"Mom, do you want to dance?"

Maryse looked up quite bewildered at Jace.

"I'd love to," she said while getting up.

Clary slipped out of her heels under the table and stretched her toes with a painful noise.

"Is everything alright?"

"Alec, you will probably roll your eyes at me but I underestimated how uncomfortable new shoes are. This is torture. And I don't have my stele with me."

"That's what you have big brothers for," Alec said with a smirk and gave her his.

"Thank you," she sighed, "You know, millions of mundane women would kill for such an instant relief."

"I don't get why women buy clothes or shoes which aren't comfortable."

"They didn't seem that bad when I bought them and since there is this stupid mundane tradition that a bride needs something new, old, borrowed and blue. And if I would have worn the shoes in advance to soften them, they wouldn't have been new anymore."

"And you would have expected the apocalypse if you would have worn them?"

"I don't know. Jace and I were already afraid that something was going to happen today and I didn't want to risk anything."

"I understand that."

"Alec, what you said in your speech about me saving Jace..."

"It was the truth. I know we all casually joked from time to time how much of a death wish Jace carried with him but it was true. He never really thought his life and himself would be of any worth. I often didn't understand why he was so reckless during battle and why he would be the first to risk his life. But it was the only purpose he could think of himself to have. He was trained and taught to fight, merciless against his opponents but also against himself. We often fought about it why he wanted us to be parabatai when he was quite constantly on the lookout for inevitable death. I could feel him suffering but he would never talk about it no matter how hard I tried. Jace would have rather died with a sarcastic joke or a simple 'I'm fine' on his lips before he would have admitted that he wasn't. I did my best to protect him but if you wouldn't have come along... With you in his life he understood there was a life apart from the next battle, a life which allowed him to rest for a moment and to find happiness."

Clary reached over the table and gently squeezed Alec's hand.

"Is this why you would have let him be deruned?"

"He was so devastated after you were gone. When I found him on the rooftop of the institute ready to jump, it was a painful reminder that with you his reason and his will to live had been gone. I felt him being in pain before but it was never like that. As much as I hated it to see him like that but at least he didn't try to fool us about how he really felt. After he realized you were still out there I knew he would find a way to be with you. When Jace had decided to be deruned, there was this immense feeling of calm and relief. Just as him I knew this was his best shot to find his happiness again and that was what mattered the most for me."