Imprinted Memories

Last Minute Doubts

“Clary, oh by the angel, I was worried when you were gone. You can't just leave like that.”

“Iz, calm down. I was just outside in the garden cause some of you were drunk snoring and I couldn't sleep.”

“Couldn't you just have left a note?”

“As if this would have calmed any of you down.”

“Also true.”

“But good you're back. I already worried how I should have explained to Jace that you vanished.”

“Girls, I appreciate your worries but it's all good. And I need to doze some more. I'll take our bedroom upstairs and no, I won't leave.”

“Okay, but let us know if you need anything.”

“Can you just dial it down a notch? I'm just upstairs not on a life threatening mission. You're really not helping to get rid of my nervousness,” Clary burst out annoyed and went upstairs.

When she was in their bedroom she sat down on the bed and looked at the painting while remembering the conversation she had with Jace about it. She groaned frustrated when it knocked on the door.

“I'm still here, don't panic.”

The door opened and Maryse's head peeked in.

“I know. I thought, you might like a cup of a tea to relax a bit.”

“Come in.”

“The girls are meaning well,” Maryse said while sitting down next to Clary and handing her a cup of tea.

“I know but it freaks me out a bit.”

“They're just as excited as you are and it's normal to feel nervous.”

“It's not only that.”

“Getting cold feet? Clary, that's absolutely normal. I felt so sick before my wedding with Robert, I was afraid I wouldn't make it down the aisle.”

“No, I'm not considering to become a runaway bride.”

“But there is something bothering you. Clary, I've known you for long enough to see that something keeps your head spinning.”

“Did you ever regret to have had children? I mean that they grew up in a world which was so often at the brink of war. Did you ever imagine a different life for them?”

“Where is this coming from? Are you...?”

“No, I'm not. I would have never drunk so much if... when I was out in the garden... you might think, I'm crazy.”

“After all we've seen and been through?”

“I didn't realize it but apparently I had been calling out to the angels and Ithuriel appeared.”

“I thought he was...”

“Raziel brought him back.”

“And what he told you seems to worry you.”

Clary took a deep breath and told Maryse about her conversation with Ithuriel.

“I understand why you're worried because no parent wants to see their children in danger and especially not because of who they are. And to answer your question, yes there were times when I wished I could have raised my children in a more peaceful environment but maybe they wouldn't have become such strong minded personalities. Could it be that what Ithuriel said makes you fear you could lose another child?”