Imprinted Memories

The Things We Do Out Of Love

“Would you really consider to leave everything behind just for me?” Clary asked her eyes still clouded from crying.

“Let's say I already have considered it.”

“Jace, don't say that you thought about deruning and leaving the Shadow World to be with me?”

“I did. I was planning it.”

“Why?”

“I was tired of sneaking out to look after you. All I wanted was to be with you, I wanted you to see me again. I didn't want to lie to my family about being okay when all I could think of was you. I couldn't endure this pain any longer.”

“Did the others know?”

“No, only very few. I wouldn't have known how to tell them.”

“If you wanted to live as a mundane, then why did you come to the exhibition glamoured?”

“I couldn't be sure if you would fall for me as a mundane, so this was some kind of last safe check up on you.”

Clary looked at him in disbelief before she let out an amused chuckle.

“What is so funny?”

“Jace, I didn't fall for you because you're this heroic Demon slaying Shadowhunter.”

“You didn't?”

“No, I fell for you because you cared about me even though you didn't know me at all. You never made me feel inferior or treated me like I was a stupid mundane girl who stumbled into this world with no clue about it. You were patient with me, you taught me how to fight, to believe in my abilities in this world, taking your time to explain me things I didn't understand. You comforted me, like when we went to the City of Bones and you held my hand. Whenever I was with you, I felt like I have a place in this world, a feeling that I belong here. And you're marginally easy on the eyes.”

“Really?”

“Yeah but mostly because you let me catch a glimpse behind your shell of cocky arrogance. It was in every moment you took my hand, in every hug, every single time when you comforted me. You didn't realize it but you let me see your true self. So, the answer is yes, I would have fallen for you nonetheless, Shadowhunter or mundane. But Jace, your place is here among your family. We can't change who we are. This last year I always felt that there was something missing, something very vital and important. It's definitely the last thing I would want you to feel. It feels like having a part of you being locked away within your sight but at the same time in unreachable distance.”

They stayed silent for a few moments. 

“Can I ask you something?”

"Yeah, what is it?“

“What happened between you and Jonathan? You didn't mention anything about it in your note.”

Clary sighed and looked out of the window for a moment.

“I really don't know how...”

“You don't have to if you can't.”

“No matter what he did, he was still my brother. It wasn't his fault what Valentine did to him and all he wanted was to be loved.  My mom ran away, Valentine locked him up before he sent him to Edom where Lilith tortured him. And his cries for help to his little sister went unheard. The more neglected he felt, the more his demonic side could take over. He was so angry and yet so desperate but I knew that a little part of my brother was still there. I realized it when I was talking to him. With that rune I created, I was able to erase his demonic side & traits but it had taken too much of him to save him. But at least he could die as my brother Jonathan, as the innocent person he originally was supposed to be. After all he went through in his life, how could I deny him a peaceful death? He deserved to feel loved for at least once in his life.”