One Desire; Chrollo Lucilfer x Reader

Welcome to My Circumstances (Pt. 2)

The crashing water had always given me a sense of peace. A sense of hope and prosperity. Beauty has always spilled out from a waterfall. Currently, I was concentrating on the sounds, the cold, and my dangerous emotions. I was to be a married woman in a couple of months, but I didn't love my husband-to-be. Illumi was kind and tried his hardest, but the most I could see him as is a friend or a brother. Unless everyone on Earth died except for me and Illumi, I was never going to be happy with Illumi. As I sat on a stone, I held my cold, wet hands together. Water fell down my head, then back. My white clothing was drenched. I tried to remember more. Tried to understand more. I pick my brain for more memories. My father died a hero. Chrollo was my best friend and wanted to get married to me when we were children. My mother forgot how to express her feeling and only let out harsh, unkept emotions. But what else? Something was missing... Something important. How important? Enough to make me question Illumi, the Zoldyck Family, Chrollo, and myself. The inner depths of my brain felt frazzled. I reached out to find what I was looking for. What was I looking for?

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The first time I was here... It was dark...

.

The second time I was here... It was light...

.

This time... Millions of stars lite up the dark sky...

.

'Where am I this time?' I wondered, as I turned around. A womanly figure stood far in the distant. Unlike the times with my father and Chrollo, I knew who the figure was. With heavy steps, I walked over to the very woman who raised me after my father's preventable death. Knowing how the dream world works, I tapped my mother shoulder and watched her crumble into little pebbles. After a minute, she tapped my shoulder and made me look at her semi-wrinkled face. She was smiling like an idiot. Like she was a good mother. Like she did a fair job in raising me! Hell, she barely taught me anything!!

"Daughter? Will you ever look at me without such killer eyes?" She asked, as she took a couple of steps closer to me; However, I took multiple steps back. This woman... This bitch raised me to be a killer! How could I forgive her for such a thing? I held my forearm awkwardly as I stared at the dark ground. My mother sighed, then snapped her fingers. A bench appeared, which she invited me to sit on. With hesitance, I did sit next to her, "I know I did wrong, but I won't beg or cry for your forgiveness. I never have. Never will, my dear. Sure, I got drunk a lot. I lost my sanity. My happiness. It died when your father did... Look... As much as you do not want to hear it, my behavior may have changed you for the better-"

"Like Hell it did, you old bitch! You ruined any chance I had at a normal childhood, even after father died!! You think I'm going to forgive you for that shit?!" I screamed, standing up abruptly to make a point. My mother's expression was one of disappointment. After a long moment of gazing into my mother's-tired eyes, I sat back down on the bench.

"Did you really want a normal childhood? Honestly... You are still an idiot..." My mother sighed, as she leaned her cheek into the palm of her hand.

"What do you fucking know?! You are fucking dead!!" I screamed again, failing to catch her off guard again. It grew silent for a minute before she decided to open her mouth again. This seemed repetitive and bull-crap, but I waited for my mother to speak. It never came. Her voice didn't come out of her mouth, so I decided to speak instead, "Look... I would have never met the amazing people I know now if it was not for you. Was that what you were trying to brag about? Of course, you still were the reason I forgot about Chrollo and father and my whole fucking childhood. I am still trying to remember all my memories, so can you get imaginary Chrollo and leave? That would be great." A giggle was heard after I told my mother to leave. I side glanced her figure to see her laughing into her hand. A small blush painted my cheeks as I looked at the now interesting floor.