One Desire; Chrollo Lucilfer x Reader

Welcome to My Performance (Pt. 1)

I woke with a jolt, from my dream or what most consider my lost memories. Cold sweat grazed my hot forehead and aching back. I lightly put my shaking hand on my forehead in order to calm myself down. Why my memories acted like bullets to my skull, I had no idea, but something about that dream felt really unnatural. Many children of younger ages than I should have dreams about candy and toy; Yet, dreams should be unreal in some way! Ever since the day my father died, I have had no child-like fantasies. No child-like dreams. The day I lost my memories, I lost my wonder. My childhood disappeared like smoke to the sky. After holding my aching head for a minute or two, I looked to my suitcase and contemplated about abandoning the Troupe. I was always loyal to my clients, but this was a bunch of bullshit! But then I thought, 'What about everyone else? What about Chrollo?' I sighed knowing running was absolutely cowardly. Why would I run? Chrollo was just concerned about my mental health was all. After a moment, I stood up from my bed and put on a light jacket and decent clothes. Putting on my shoes, I walked out of my room, then out of the building. The crisp air made my hair dance and my body shiver. This would usually fill my heart with joy, but that day, it did nothing. I was tired. I was pissed. And worst of all... I was upset. I wondered why this was. Was I really mad at Chrollo? No, I wasn't. I was angry with myself. 'How could I be so foolish? How could I be so stupid?!' I thought, as I walked to the East City. When I knew I was in a isolated spot, and I walked up to a building and started to punch as hard as I could, though that didn't last long. Warm, crimson droplets fell from my knuckles to the cold, broken sidewalk. I felt pathetic and I was on the verge of tears. I was confused, and angry. 

"What am I doing?" I murmured to myself, as I looked to the now grey sky. Raindrops started to fall and I felt a cold coming on, but I didn't care. I looked to the sky with a saddened expression, "To be, or not to be, that is the question: Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, or to take arms against a sea of troubles and by opposing end them. To die—to sleep, no more; and by a sleep to say we end the heart-ache and the thousand natural shocks that flesh is heir to: 'tis a consummation devoutly to be wish'd. To die, to sleep; to sleep, perchance to dream—ay, there's the rub: For in that sleep of death what dreams may come, when we have shuffled off this mortal coil, must give us pause—there's the respect that makes calamity of so long life. For who would bear the whips and scorns of time, th'oppressor's wrong, the proud man's contumely, the pangs of dispriz'd love, the law's delay, the insolence of office, and the spurns that patient merit of th'unworthy takes, when he himself might his quietus make with a bare bodkin? Who—Oh I can never remember that line!"

"—Who would fardels bear, to grunt and sweat under a weary life, but that the dread of something after death, the undiscovere'd country, from whose bourn no traveller returns, puzzles the will, and makes us rather bear those ills we have than fly to others that we know not of? Thus conscience does make cowards of us all, and thus the native hue of resolution is sicklied o'er with the pale cast of thought, and enterprises of great pitch and moment with this regard their currents turn awry and lose the name of action." Someone finished from the shadows. I looked in the direction of the voice, to find no one.

"Who's there?!" I screamed, as I looked all around. There nen was visible for me to feel so I looked at the sources direction. My eyes slide up to a building's window about 3 stories high. There was a figure of the man sitting on the not-so-large windowsill. Even though he had visible red hair, I didn't know who he was. Once the figure noticed my eyes on them, they started to climb down. It was a man! With suits on his shirt! He kinda looked like a clown! Wait?

"Oh~ Hamlet's famous speech from the writer William Shakespeare. I'm surprised you know it so well~" The not-so-mysterious figure said, after he reached the ground and started to walk in my direction.