One Desire; Chrollo Lucilfer x Reader

Welcome to My Choices

My eyes shot open like a bullet hit my chest. I breathed heavily, as I held my (H/C) hair in wads, gripping them for dear life. I sat up and looked at the white sheets. 'Was I back at headquarters? Oh hell! Like that matters!!' I thought, as sweat and tears continued to fly down my back and face. In a quick rush, I got up from the bed and sloppily made my way toward the wall, where I punched it so hard. I was scared. I didn't know what was going on. All I could think about was the boy from my dreams. My memories. Everything was more or less a blur. 'Chrollo? Is he really Cho?! The boy that helped me? The boy that was the cause for my lost memories? The boy... that asked me to marry him multiple times as a child?! This isn't good!' In repetition, I continued to punch the wall and ended up driving a hole into it, before a hand held onto my shoulder. I looked behind me to find Chrollo looking at me concerned. His eyes. His cold, dark, empty eyes were the same as the boys.

"Cho?" Chrollo's eyes widened when I said that. So wide, that everyone would know that he was surprised. Chrollo took a step back and covered his mouth with his hand. Tears started to spill from his ebony eyes. When he removed his hand, a smile was apparent on his features. He looked at me once more took a step forward once more and gently put his hand on my cheek. He slowly stroked my skin like it was fine porcelain that has never been touched by man. For only a moment, I thought he saw me as one of his treasures; However, I quickly snapped out of it and started to move his hands away from me.

"(Y-Y/N)?" Chrollo stuttered, as he looked at me desperately, "You... you called me Cho? Do you remember who I am?" He asked, as he held my hands tightly in his own. I looked away, trying to conceal my tears the very best I could. I was a hitman god dammit! I can't let anyone see the weakest side of me. I pulled my hands away from his and held them close to my heart.

"Chrollo," I started, before I looked at him in the eye. Tears cascaded down the cheeks and chin, as I looked at him sadly, "I... want to leave for a couple of weeks. I have to think about my next move. My memories haven't recovered yet, so let them come back naturally. Please Chrollo! Let me save my mortal soul! Let me save my meaning to live!" Chrollo's expression was unreadable. Definitely a blank slate. After a moment or two, Chrollo grabbed my shoulder tightly and smiled lightly. The air was still, but comfortable. Chrollo nodded in understanding before he pulled me into a hug. It was a long embrace, but it felt so short when he let me go. A cold draft surrounded my body as I watched him walk out the door. Shaking off my thoughts, I walked to my room and started to pack the things I would need. I decided to travel to the Aljen Continent and just go where my heart tells my brain to go. Once I was all packed, I started to make my way down the hallway, until a pale arm grabbed for and and put me in a choke-hole, while the other hand crept around my shaking body, "H-H-Hisoka!" I choked out before he strengthened his hold.

"That was super fun (Y/N)~ Maybe we can go again sometime~" He cooed, before punched him in the noise. He let go and stared at me for a moment or two.

"I refuse to do that again you damn clown! Take that to heart will you?" I yelled, before running down the hallway. I felt his eyes on me until I turned a corner. I sighed in relief, as I continued to run down various halls. When I knew I was a good distance away from Hisoka, I slowed my pace and started to walk toward the meeting room. 'Is this right? For me to leave Chrollo like this? I committed a taboo in the Phantom Troupe after all. On further note, will he give my punishment later? Ah, I'm getting such a headache...' I pondered as I walked down the crumbling hallway, 'Why didn't he say anything about the fight? It might have been because I was the main victim. But I had every chance to tell him that day when I trained with him. I have to admit, training against a concrete wall was suspicious. So why? Why didn't he stop me? Maybe it was because the situation wasn't clear? I don't know!! Maybe I should ask before I leave.' When I made it into the meeting room, Chrollo wasn't there. Disappointment flooded my senses, before I walked off. In a moment of thought, I remembered that Hisoka broke the damn thing. I wondered how to get there until a limousine pulled up. 'What is this shit?!' The tinted windows rolled down to reveal Chrollo smiling at me.

"Since your motorcycle broke, I thought I could give you a lift. If not, you can always walk to the nearest airport." Chrollo explained innocently, as a light smile graced his features. I couldn't help but smile back at him. Once I got in the car, there was a long moment of a silence as sounds echoed from outside the car.

"Hey Chrollo? I have a question." I queried, before he nodded, "I was wondering if you are mad about Hisoka and I's fight."

"Oh that? Hm... Well I am a little angry knowing that either you or Hisoka didn't follow my rules. It's dangerous for spiders to fight with each other. I united the strongest people I could find to fight along side me. The most skilled people to fight along side me. What you and Hisoka did would usually be unforgivable; However, lucky enough for you, I don't blame this on you entirely. Hisoka has like, 75% of the blame, because he was the one who challenged you in the first place, but you still accepted to fight him, so you are also to blame. Now is my turn to ask you a question." Chrollo answered.

"Okay! What's your question?" I asked, quietly looking at the profile of his face.

"What exactly did you remember in your coma?"