Love is a Mystery (A JohnLock Fanfic)

-Chapter 15-

-Sherlock's POV-

I couldn't believe it. This can't be happening. The smeared words of the important official letter stood out, even as its black ink ran down the page.
Doctor John Watson
you will report to the airport at 4:00 am tuesday, November 2013.
-Sargent Mathew Waters
John was going back into war.

I looked to him, my eyes full of tears.

"J-John, when were you going to tell me this?" I asked, my voice cracking on the last word.

He looked up to me with his sad puppy dog eyes, as he searched mine, trying to find an answer.

"Sherlock-" he began, but I quickly cut him off by throwing the umbrella onto the bench, and standing out in the rain. My head fell into my hands as I felt the world crash onto my shoulders again. I just got John back- I can't lose him now...

I felt two arms wrap around my waist, and his head rest on my back.

"I'm sorry Sherlock. I just thought it was the right thing to do." He whispered into me.

I turned to him aburntly, anger and fear clear in my attitude.

"John, I just got you back, I can't lose you now! Aren't you retired?"

He sighed, and shook his head lightly.

"I was, but after signing up again, I left my retirement."

John was all I had. Sure, I had Mycroft, and Mrs. Hudson, but John is the only person who I can truly count on. He always has my back, and comes when I call. Not to mention he is the love of my life... so why did he have to do this to me? Why?

Suddenly, I broke down- my knees hit the wet pavement, my head falling into my hands again, and tears streamed from my eyes. John's warm arms wrapped around me, and held me against his chest in a protective manor. People walked by, looking at us like we were mad- but I didn't care. In fact, I didn't care about anyone at the moment, but John.

Between sobs I asked- "Why- John- Why?"

He sighed lightly, and rubbed my head lightly.

"When I thought you were dead, I signed up. I wanted to do the world some good, instead of wasting the rest of my life crying over someone who wasn't going to come back."

After a long moment, John leaned in closer to me, letting all of my body weight crush him in the process.

"Sherlock, its going to be okay. I'll be back in a year. Only a year Sherlock. Just in time for chrsitmas." John said into my ear, trying to sooth me, but only making a new wave of sobs break through my core.

Nothing can describe what I feel for John. Nothing. And nothing can describe what it feels to have him ripped away because of your own rubbish mistakes...

Nothing.