Love is a Mystery (A JohnLock Fanfic)

-Chapter 5-

Sherlock's POV

I stopped at my grave, seeing John standing infront of it. When he heard me, he turned around, and his eyes locked with mine.

"Oh... bloody hell, I've gone crazy haven't I?" he yelled to himself.

"Hello John, it has been awhile, hasn't it?" I said, in an apologetic voice.

Sentiment has grown on me in the past two years... being away from John and all.

John suddenly pulled out his gun, and pointed it at me.

My hands flew up, and I backed up slightly.

"John, please, its me, Sherlock!"

"No your not! Are you a clone? A trick? Something Mycroft decided to play on me? Because its not funny!"

At this point, tears were sliding down his cheeks, hitting the

ground.

This made my heart ache, seeing my blogger in pain. Even if it was only emotional pain, it still pained me.

"John..." I said, slowly moving forward towards him.

"Stay back!" He shouted, making the gun shake in his hands lightly.

"Tell me something only... he... would know. Deduce me."

I noticed he avoided saying my name. Oh god, I really have been gone for too long havent I?

I quickly scanned him over.

Bags underneath his eyes, which meant seep loss, due to insomnia, it appears. He also appeared to have lost weight; eleven pounds. His clothes looked beaten down, which meant he had them for a long while, but hasn't bothered to buy new ones. Sentiment? Perhaps. A piece of paper was in his pocket, although I couldn't see what it said. His hand had traces of... scars? From what looked to be a... a blade.

"John... your hand."

He looked to his hand, and forced it behind his back.

"What of it?"

"You have been... hurting yourself... why?"

He laughed lightly.

"If you were who you claim to be, then you would know."

"I honestly dont understand why people do that to themselves. But, I assume its because of the past, or something they wish to forget."

He nodded, and the gun slowly started to go down.

"Tell me more."

"You have bags under your eyes, which means sleep loss, insomnia perhaps? Your eyes are red and puffy, from crying I assume, due to the insomnia and... cutting-" I flinched at the word. My john has been hurting himself...

"Go on." He pressed.

"Ah yes, so your weight has seemed to decrease, eleven pounds to be exact. A piece of paper is in your pocket, and from the looks of the material, it is official buissness. Your clothes look old, and sag in places, which means you haven't been out to buy new ones. Still holding onto the past as much as you can. Depression, your going through... depression. Did I get anything wrong, or leave anything out?"

He dropped the gun from his hand, and backed up to the grave.

"No, no, this can't be happening..."

"John, listen to me. I am so, so sorry. Words cannot describe how much I have missed you." I felt a tear run down my face. Damn emotions!

Sherlock, cut them off before you know what happens!

But... I couldn't. A strange mix of emotions flooded me, and I couldn't describe them.

What were these... feelings?

My heart was pounding, my plams were sweaty. Fear, or perhaps nervousness?

"John- please look at me."

His eyes were covered by this hands, and tears rolled down underneath them.

Was he affraid of me?

My heart, sank (metaphorically, of course).

"John... please."

I didn't...know what to do. And it scared me. I wanted to help John, my blogger, my friend, but I didn't know how.

"John, how can I help you?"

I felt steamy tears run down my cheekbones.

He looked up to me, and his eyes were filled with... sadness? Yes, sadness, emotion, depression, confusion. So many emotions were packed into the amazing man standing infront of me, and I couldn't help but envy him.

I dropped to my knees, letting my head fall into my hands. I don't think I have ever cried so much. My tears streamed from my eyes, dripping from my fingers.

Then... I felt warm arms wrap around me. He pulled me to his chest, and let me cry in his chest.

I reapeted over and over, 'Im so sorry John,' and he would keep saying, 'I know, its okay.'

After I felt the pain in my heart leave, I looked up to John, who was looking down at me, his eyes full of hope.

"Im sorry, please forgive me John, I would be lost without my blogger."

He smiled at my 'blogger' comment, and hugged me closer to his chest, making me almost feel safe.

"Sh. It's okay now." He cooed.

I stood, and helped him to his feet next. We just stared at each other for a long while. His eyes were so... bueatiful.

What?

Then a voice in the back of my mind said, 'Deduce him.'

And so I did. Everything from before showed up again, until I noticed;

Pupils dialated.

I took his wrist, making it look as if I was studying his... cuts.

I then took his pulse.

Fast, very fast.

John... loves me?