Chapter 29

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Amy, Rory, the Doctor, and Elise stepped out of the TARDIS into what looked to be a hotel.

"Let's go to Ravan-Skala, he says. The people are six hundred feet tall. You have to talk to them in hot air balloons and the Tourist Information Center is made of one of their hats, he says. I'm sorry, but I don't see any huge hats," Amy told him.

"Amy, Beaky, this could be the most exciting thing I have ever seen."

"You're kidding," Rory said as the Doctor ran up the staircase.

"How can you be excited about a rubbish hotel on a rubbish bit of Earth?" Amy asked.

"Because, assembled Ponds and Elise, this is not Earth. This has just been made to look like Earth. The craftsmanship involved. Can you imagine?"

Elise loved her father, but she had to admit he had some weird interests.

They made their way back to the reception area where the TARDIS parked.

"What? Then where are we?" Amy asked.

"I don't know," the Doctor said, "Something must have yanked us off course. Look at the detail on that cheese plant!" He walked over to the plant and sniffed the leaf.

"Right, but who would mock up an Earth hotel?" Rory asked.

The Doctor picked an apple from a bowl sitting on a table and tossed it in the air. "Colonists maybe, recreating a bit of home, like when ex-pats open English pubs in Majorca." The Doctor took a bite of the apple.

"Thought you didn't like apples?" Elise asked him, a smirk on her face.

"Oi. Hush you! Whoever did this, I am shaking his/her hand/tentacle."

Rory walked over to a wall of pictures. "Have you seen these? Look at the labels underneath. Commander Halke, defeat. Tim Heath, having his photo taken. Lady Silver-Tear, Daleks."

Amy joined him. "Bruce Barnes, other people's socks. Tim Nelson, balloons. Novice Prin, sabrewolves. Royston Luke Gold, Plymouth? Lucy Hayward, that brutal gorilla. Doctor, what does it mean?"

"I don't know. Let's find out." He rang the bell on the desk and three people appeared.

One was a woman holding a chair leg, another was a man holding a lamp, and the third was some type of alien holding a white flag.

"Blimey, that was a bit quick," the Doctor said.

"We surrender!" the alien said.

"No, it's okay, we're not..." Rory told him.

"We surrender!"

"We're nice."

"She's threatening me with a chair leg!" the Doctor said, pointing at the woman in scrubs.

"Who are you?" she asked.

"Oh god, we're back in reception," the man said.

"We surrender!" the alien repeated.

"I've never been threatened with a chair leg before. No, hang on, I tell a lie," the Doctor told them.

"Did you just say, it's okay, we're nice?" Amy asked Rory.

"Okay, I need everyone to shut up, now," the woman said.

"Rita, be careful, yeah?" the man said.

"Their pupils are dilated. They're as surprised as we are. Besides which, if it's a trick, it'll tell us something," Rita rattled off.

The Doctor smiled. "Oh, you're good. Oh, she's good. Amy, with regret, you're fired."

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