OBSIDIAN ISSUE #2 : WOUNDED

THIRTY

Napadilat ako sa naramdaman na patak sa aking mukha. My eyes narrowed instantly the moment they caught the last burst of sunlight before the somber clouds devoured it.

His angry and grief-stricken screams still haunt me. Inuugoy ako hindi lang ng hangin kundi ang bawat alingawngaw ng sigaw habang tulala sa tanawin ng dalampasigan sa harap. A sudden blow of the violent winds sheathed my body in cold leading me to surf in the powerful shivers. Doon pa lamang naudlot ang titig ko nang balingan ang tumitili sa ibaba ng tinatayuang balkonahe at ang pangalawang tunog ng kampana.

Bumalik na ako sa loob. Sa bagsak ng ambon ay nagkanya-kanya na ring likas ng mga naglalaro sa ibaba kasabay sa patuloy na usig ng batingaw sa hindi kalayuang simbahan. This time, the sound of the ringing bells were muffled, unsure if it was intent or the distance of the church and my villa was somehow responsible. It also felt wrong to say that it was overpowered by the growing noise of the drizzle. Mas madali sa aking paniwalaan na isa itong pag-anunsiyo na may sumasakabilang buhay na naman.

I picked up the coffee mug and took my last sips. Iniwan ko na iyon sa mesa at dumiretso sa kuwarto para maligo at makapag-ayos. Sa taas ng araw kanina, hindi ko inasahan ang ulan. Gayunpaman, hindi pa rin nagbago ang isip ko at iyon ay asikasuhin ang dahilan ng pag-uwi ko ng Cebu.

I donned my white robe after the quick bath. Kinuha ko ang hairbrush sa tukador at sinuklay ang mahaba kong buhok. Upon doing my slow brushes, the fresh reflection of the woman in front of me smiled. Angelov always love my hair long so I never had it snipped in lengthy strands ever since. Pinapagupitan, pero kailangan mamintina ang haba na hanggang sa baywang ko lang.

"I might go to the cemetery and pay a visit..." I slid a gaze at the frame on the bedside. "To your Mom and... some people. Matagal tagal na rin ang huli kong bisita. But don't worry, even from miles away not once they ever left my memory. Lalo ka na."

I can hear his smirk had he heared this from me. Umiling ako at sa ginawa ay nahagip ang mensahe sa cellphone sa ibabaw ng drawer. From Cher. I paused my brushing to type my reply.

Me:

I might extend a few days. Thank you for sending the files. I already emailed my clients to cancel come errands. No need for you to worry.

Anito sa mensahe ay naipadala na ang mga dokumentong nahagip niya sa office table ko. Not a part of me knows fear when I realized that it should be one of the papers I summoned for evidences.

Huminga ako nang malalim at nilapag ang phone. It was a battle not to invest too much thought about his reply, so I just scanned a mental picture on what to wear for today. Nang makapagpasya na ay ibinaba ko ang hairbrush at tinutok ang mga hakbang sa dresser. I unravel the tie in my robe, nahati agad ang harap. The sleeves slid smoothly down my shoulders revealing my upper arms and a bit of my breasts. Agad bumalot ang lamig na mula sa namumuong sama ng panahon.

As if I couldn't do anything but to let it control me, I halted and stood still in front of my dresser. Guarding myself from the breezing cold, I was able to caress my shoulder and cup a feel at my bare skin that has been longing for his touch and his hold. A grip that I'd rather be it tight than to feel it loose. His grip that I'd rather scream deafening oaths than wrap me around in mild whispers...

Sa isang silakbo ng alaala ng kamay niya sa akin ay nanginig muli ako. I gasped, in dire need to look around to somehow find a semblance of comfort in my chosen solitude.

"Was it you?" I panicked a little bit.

No one answered. Nagpabalik-balik ang tingin ko sa paligid tangay ang makabagong pagsasama ng takot at pag-asa.

"Paramdam ka naman ulit, please. Gulong gulo na ako..."

Mababaw ang bawat paghinga ko, nakikiramdam. A few ticks of silence coursed through when my shoulders jumped from the loud thud. Tunog bato o nababaling sanga at tinangay ng hangin mula sa pagsibol ng ulan. Another sound came from the gale tapping the windows.