“Let's make some fruit salad today (Uh huh uh)
It's fun to do it the healthy way (Uh huh uh)
Take all the fruit that you want to eat
It's gonna be a fruit salad treat!”
“Daddy this is BS.”
Startled, I looked down to where Ashley was standing infront of me with har arms crossed over her chest, the purple dress Destiny had put on her earlier that morning, covered in grass and food stains.
“The Wiggles are singing!” I said feigning enthusiasm, “Go watch!”
“Those are not the Wiggles.” She scoffed.
“Yes they are.”
“Cut the shit Dad.”
“Ashley!” I hissed, steering her away from Liam, Sophia, Perrie and Zayn who were trying hard not to laugh at her outburst.
“Those guys are not the Wiggles.” Ashley spat, “They’re imposters!”
“Ashley.” I sighed, glancing up at the stage across the yard where Jack Barakat, Alex Gaskarth, RIan Dawson and Zack Merrick where dressed up in Wiggles costumes I’d ordered online from Party City.
“Those are your friends that smell like beer and ate all my Fruity Pebbles.”
“Fine.” I sighed, “Why don’t you go see the princess then?”
Turning in the opposite direction, I pointed across the yard to where some local high school girls were dressed up as Cinderella, Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, Rupunzel, Mulan and the Frozen princess.
“Those are not real princesses.” Ashley laughed.
“Yes they are!” I gasped, “Daddy paid a lot of money for them to come here.”
“How much?”
“A lot.”
“How much a lot?”
“A thousand dollars.”
“That is a lot.”
“Yeah, so why don’t you go see them.”
“No, they’re not real, you’ve been duped. You wasteded your cash.”
“Ashley.” I groaned.
“Real Princes live at Disney world.”
Sighing, I ran my fingertips through my hair and looked around the yard, “How about the bounce house?”
“Uncle Niall farted in there.”
“Go ride the ponies.”
“I did, I’m bored now.”
“Go see the other animals from the petting zoo.”
“Been there, done that.”
“Ashley.” I sighed, “Can’y you just go play with your friends? Look Lily is here.”
“She’s mean.”
“No she’s not.”
“She said you look like Sid the Sloth.”
“Oh.” I huffed, “Okay then, how about Theo?”
“He eats his own boogers, it’s nasty.”
“How about Calum’s nephew, Noah.”
“No.”
“Why not?”
“He bites.”
“And you hit, you’re a match made in Heaven.”
