Ellasyna [Ceaelie #1] | completed

xxiii | Promise of Destruction

© Stephanie Anne and Dee Atkins

                  Chapter Twenty-three

The first thing I felt when I woke up was a sense that I wasn’t alone. And that startled me. Weak rays of sunlight filtered into the room through the cracks in the walls, lighting the whole room with a dull glow, but I was still barely able to make out where I was. My eyes flickered over my surroundings, taking in the flimsy wooden walls, scattered papers, broken glass, rickety furniture, and uncomfortable mattress beneath me.

A warmth surrounded me, and I let my eyes remain closed as I embraced it. My limbs were all sore from the labour of yesterday, and all I wanted was to stay wrapped in this warmth forever. But suddenly I felt something tightening around me, and I froze, heartbeat increasing in fright and fear. What was that? I moved slightly, tilting my head off the hard pillow - only just realising it wasn’t a pillow when I let my eyes trail over the other half of the single mattress. It was Cam’s chest. My eyes widened and I felt the blood rushing to my cheeks as I suddenly remembered the events of last night.

I could remember Marceus showing up out of nowhere, probably using the tracker placed in my arm to locate me, Cam protecting me, him getting hurt, and figuring out he’d been poisoned once we’d gotten back to the cabin, and using my spirit abilities to heal him. And then I remembered the way he’d touched me - so gently, carefully as if I’d break into a thousand pieces if he wasn’t so careful. I remembered how his fingers ran across my cheek, how soft and warm his lips were on mine, the smell of rain and snow on his skin mixed with his usual woodsy scent. I remembered how he kissed me - so urgently, so ravenous, yet so, so gently. I remembered the way my body reacted to his, how I’d let my fingers glide through his tousled hair, across his bare back, down his muscled chest. And then I remembered feeling weak and tired. I remembered feeling drained, as if I couldn’t hold my body up any longer, and I remembered closing my eyes, letting myself succumb to the darkness as we both fell asleep together.

All these things raced through my mind all at once, and I didn’t know how to feel. I was conflicted. I felt horrible because I was a disgrace to my kind, to my family. I’d let a human touch me like that, let him kiss me and hold me. But I also felt so alive when he touched me. His touch sent tingles and electricity shooting through my whole body, his kisses made me feel as though I actually still had a purpose. Conflicted feelings raced through me, and I found myself slowly removing myself from his arms, taking care not to wake him as I stood and sneaked towards the door as quiet as a mouse.

How could I do something like this? I closed my eyes and stepped outside, biting my lip. How could I let something like this occur?  How could a human make me feel so alive? How could he make my heart race and electricity shoot through my body? How could one human make me abandon all rational thought and all the training I’ve had over the years? How could I have been so stupid, so reckless? Why had I let him touch me? Why had I given in to his charm? For all I knew this was all he wanted, to make me forget about my mission. Surely Kali didn’t have this problem. Surely she knew what she was doing and never wavered from the mission.

Then how did she die?

I hugged myself, shielding my bare arms from the harsh cold as a fresh layer of snow fell. The winter solstice… It was so close. I had almost no time left. I have spent so much time procrastinating, that I failed to realise that I needed to act. I should’ve already acted. But looking back into the cabin, back at Cam, I knew I could no longer flounder around and stall. I needed to do something. And I need to do it now.

 ***

The branch shook under my weight as I pulled myself up into the tree, sitting myself down in between two branches to watch the base. Everything seemed quiet, the regular guards walking the perimeter. I could hear their boots crunching in the freshly lain snow. They didn’t speak, but then, they never did. Even as they passed their fellow soldiers, the only acknowledgement was a small nod. Though, they were probably trained to be silent and stoic.