Breeze Among Flowers (On Hold)

Chapter 21

CHAPTER 21

The most confused you will ever get is when

You try to convince your heart and spirit something

Your mind knows is a lie.

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Faith

          I was getting bored of all the shows going on the TV. I was home alone now as Ingrid decided to stay over her friend’s. It’s been two hours now that Shawn dropped me home after dinner at a fancy restaurant where I suppose only rich people went. It was kind of uncomfortable for me though as I was being self-conscious all of a sudden. Though the food was really good, I was having a hard time distracting my mind from what I saw back at Shawn’s place. I was praising that lord that Shawn wasn’t questioning me anything tonight about why did I decide to enter the motel instead of going to school but I know that I have to answer that question sooner or later.

          Being around Shawn isn’t uncomfortable. He is charming and very friendly which makes me feel relaxed. Over dinner, we only had some small chats about Nathan’s case which he was working on, but I sighed when he said that they still couldn’t find the exact reason why Nathan committed suicide. Shawn says that all that is written in Nathan’s suicide note was‘I’m sorry mom, but I’m tired of life.’ I couldn’t really get the point how could he possible tired of life when he was the most cheerful and carefree person I’ve ever known. I told my part of the story about how Nathan was, giving possible explanation to Shawn that there wasn’t any visible reason he would get tired of life. I left off Sydney’s part in the story as in the end, it all goes back and ends up at Dean.

          There were two guards outside of my house that Shawn has arranged for my security. I was still disappointed that dad hadn’t called to check up on me. Calling is the least he could do for me but I guess his work seems more important to him.

          I press the red button on the remote to switch off the TV and toss is on the sofa. Something in me tells that I should discuss about the Mary thing with Kyle. I mean, she was known by him, not me, that I should worry about her but I was just curious to know why would she fake her death? In those documents there were pictures of her old and new look, and the only change was her hairstyle and colour of it. It also seemed that she removed some sort of wrinkles and below the pictures were the details of her old to new name and related stuffs.

          I take a look at my wall clock which shows it was 12am. Will it be alright to call Kyle now or would I just interrupt his sleep? I pick up my phone which was on the table in front of me and press redial as he was the last one I spoke to but after two rings I hang up. Maybe it’s better if I talk to him in the morning.

          My phone makes a beep sound and goes off. Damn, there goes my charge. I get up lazily from the sofa and switch off all the lights downstairs and start walking up the stairs. On reaching the top, I hear a small click sound which I suppose came from downstairs. I bend slowly, holding the railing of the stairs and to look down, but I couldn’t see anything as everything was dark. Well, it might have come from outside and because the house was dead silent, I was hearing different sort of sounds. Ignoring that, I walk into my room and turn on the lights of the room. I connect the charger to my phone and leave the phone casually on the side table. I walk to my dressing table and stare at the picture of Sydney, Nathan and me that was stuck on one corner of the mirror. Everything was so good, so perfect then how did it all go wrong? Sometimes, I feel that maybe I’m responsible for Nathan’s death. Only if I was a good friend, it might have not happened.