Breeze Among Flowers (On Hold)

Chapter 2

CHAPTER 2

But I’m afraid that…

If you know me better, you’ll see how badly broken I’m,

And you’ll walk away.

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        “Welcome to Abigail’s Coffee Shop, how may I help you?”  I say, trying to sound cheerful, unlike any other day as I start my work after a tiring day at school. I can’t believe I have to spend the next 4 hours in here, telling that same dialogue over and over again. Why does life have to be so complicated? I sigh as I start typing my customer’s order.

          I start to think what to make for dinner tonight. Dad won’t be back until tomorrow evening I guess, and Ingrid hasn’t texted me back whether she is coming home tonight or not as I know she’d like to spend the night or should I say, many nights at her friend’s.  She is only 14 and she behaves as if she's an adult. She's going out of control, and I can’t do anything about it. Well how am I supposed to when I can barely handle myself? Being pressurized from every side hardly gives me time to heal myself. The suffering I’ve gone through, and going through is just very painful. The worst part is, I cannot even share my horrible thoughts with anyone.

          “I’d like to have a latte”, says a young woman, snapping me out of my thoughts.

        “Yes ma’am, right away,” I crack a smile as I type in her order.

        She seems to have come here with her boyfriend, and as she laughs playfully with him, I can’t help but think that will this girl be the same if this guy betrayed her? Will this guy be able to love another girl if she broke his trust in the most unpredictable way? Well, of course, they’ll find a way to get better and leave their past behind. They’ll move on in different directions and stop crying over one another eventually. I wish I could do that. I wish I could leave all this pain behind. I wish I could be happy, I wish someone would understand my unspoken words, but I guess a part of me will never be healed.

          “Faith, you can go home now, your dad asked me to let you leave a bit early today as he won’t be home,” says Ms. Grint, the shop owner and a good friend of my Dad’s.

        My Dad didn’t tell Ms. Grint what happened during the summer, but that I needed a way to keep my mind distracted so she let me work at her coffee shop. I worked here only for two hours today, usually it’s for five.

        “Oh, yes, I almost forgot about my Dad not being home tonight,” I say giggling a bit. She doesn’t smile often but she is a nice person. After her 16 year old daughter’s death, she became like that. She always blamed herself for whatever happened, that she could have saved her daughter from committing suicide if she only had listened to her problems and been there for her. Now, all she lives with is this coffee shop, which is going really well.

          “I’m really sorry about leaving work early, I do feel bad about putting my shift on someone else, I will try to do overtime on next Thursday,” I say, giving her an apologetic look.

          “Oh dear, it’s absolutely alright, I understand, you don’t have to be sorry,” she says giving me a sweet smile. “… and you also have to look after your sister, so it’s okay.”

          More like, look after myself; I smile in pity at that thought.

          I start walking down the footpath, clutching my jacket tightly. It sure is a bit windy today, but I don’t mind this weather. It’s relaxing actually, I always loved the cold breeze. It’s getting dark already, so I start to walk faster. I have to make it to the grocery store before going home. I look to see if I can grab a taxi, but I don’t see one, just some cars passing by. I pass by a park, where I see a few aged people, sitting on the benches and enjoying the whether. I also see some girls hanging out with their friends, and some people just walking their dog. How carefree they seem, it’s lovely to know that at least not everyone has to go through what I’m going through, or even if they have any type of sorrow, they have ways to overcome them. Then there’s me. I just continue to walk looking down, making my way to the grocery store.