When Niall's dad Bobby rings and tells his youngest son that his mum is ill and that he's out of town and can't take care of her, Niall is put on Mum duty. Niall asks (Y/n) to come along, but she insists that she needs to stay home due to it being a Tuesday and she must house sit. Niall finally gives up and packs for a few days in Mullingar.
Niall is comepletely and udderly oblivious to how his long time girlfriend (Y/n) is feeling. So he leaves for his mum's. (Y/n) wears a fake smile and kisses Niall lovingly like she would if she were happy. So Niall doesn't suspect a thing. When (Y/n) watches Niall get into his car, she mouthes "Be safe" because it's true that she cares about Niall and wants him to be safe and sound by the time he returns. Which to her knowledge will be in about two to three days.
As Niall exits their shared driveway in his SUV (Y/n) waves and smiles as he blows a kiss to her. When Niall is out of sight, (Y/n) slides down the back of the door and sighs to herself. She knows now that she doesn't have to hide her true feelings another minute. She shakily stands up and trudges her body down the hallway to her and Niall's bedroom. She walks into the in suite bathroom and searches the cabinets for something to put her to sleep. (Y/n) wants nothing but to sleep, because at the moment she believes it will make her pain and scary thoughts disapear.
She rummages more and more until she finally finds some sleeping pills. She pops the lid and dumps three tablets into her hand. She swallows them dry. Hoping the faster she takes them, the faster she'll be introduced to slumber. Within half an hour (Y/n) was drifting in and out of consciousness. Her last thought before falling asleep was that she hoped she'd sleep through the day and the night.
(Y/n) didn't think of the dreams or nightmares she might encounter. It never once crossed her mind. So many, many hours into her inactivity she dreamt of herself, sitting on her computer like she does in her spare time. (Y/n) was scrolling through her dashboard on tumblr, when she got 13 messages within a matter of 3 minutes. When she opened them, they were all hate.
"You're so fat. I really don't see how Niall could love you!!1!"
"Be ashamed of yourself, you make Niall look bad."
"You were even fatter in highschool,"
That one hit her hard. She didn't know it yet, but she was already crying in her sleep. (Y/n) was a bit chubby in highschool. Those four years were hell for her. Everyday she went home and cried. From the physical and verbal abuse, (Y/n) started cutting. No one knew. She's kept it to herself all this time. Bottled up inside. Never speaking about it. After graduating early because of her smarts, (Y/n) spent those five months at the gym. Eating an apple rather than a bowl of ice cream. She tried and tried and tried. Never giving up. She eventually lost the extra weight by the time she started colllege. Over the last six months she's tried and tried to push her problems aside, ever since she met Niall. Niall's the reason she's had the slightest bit of happiness in her life.
(Y/n) then jumped up in her bed. It was pitch black and she felt to the side of her looking for of course, Niall, but he wasn't there. A feeling of sadness overtook (Y/n) as she unsteadily stood to her feet and walked to the kitchen, in hopes of a glass of water calming her down. As she sipped lightly on the tap water she took in her surroundings. The darkness of the living room in the front of her view, the hard wind slamming against the large windows in the kitchen. She'd never felt so alone.
Her mind, once again, had gotten the best of her and hot tears strolled down her red cheeks, hitting the marble floor beneath her. She threw the glass into the sink, hearing it shatter. In an empty house it sounded like a war had begun..
Okay, maybe she exaggerated that but if you were alone in the dark and the house being that silent, you would think it was that loud too. (Y/n) walked to the bedroom. She stood in front of her long mirror. Examining herself. How her stomach still never fully lost it's pudge. How she didn't have even the slightest of a gap between her thighs. How her arms had floppy skin underneath instead of muscle. How she only has three freckles and they're only under her right eye, in that one spot and no where else. How she was a freak. So hideous and a disgrace to this world.
Her eyes now flooded with tears and she ran in the bathroom. In search of something to relieve her pain. She couldn't find it, anywhere. She needed the cool blade between her fingers and sliding across her skin. She found an old bag of hers that she used when her and Niall first met. She always had a spare in case she got down in public. She picked it up and twisted it around her fingers a bit. She went in the bathroom and took off her shorts she was wearing.
As she fell onto the bathroom tiles she inhaled sharply as she slid the blade across her inner thigh. The first time of relief she had in a long time. "Ugly" She whispered as she slid it across again watching the crimson liquid fall down onto the floor. 'Fat whore" She said louder as she took it a little too far and cut to deep. Blood gushing out. She found her some gauze and cleaned herself up. She's never cut this deep. She's used to the pain that she usually has from the cuts she gives herself. But this one is unbearable. On top of her feeling pathetic and useless it's rather bad.
She dropped herself on the bed, wrong decision. She ended up with a lot of pressure on her thigh. She cried out in pain and the tears fell fast and freely. She soaked the pillow underneath her, screaming in pain and trying to let out everything that's been building up inside. She was crying so hard that she didn't hear Niall come home early. Turns out his brother made it a few hours after Niall did, and took over Mum duty. When Niall walked in, he went to grab a soda out of the fridge when he saw the broken glass. He thought he had seen the worst until he ran to the bedroom seeing a broken girl lie lifelessly on the bed, drowning in her tears.
"Babe?!" He called out, running to her. (Y/n) was pulled into Niall's embrace as he held her tight. Niall loved every single ounce of (Y/n). He hates to see her upset. And it kills him inside to see her cry, especially this bad. "What's wrong baby?!" He asked as tears of his own began to fall. "What hurts?" He asked trying to get an anwser out of her. "Everything. hurts. Everything Niall." She cried harder. "I'm gonna make it all better okay." He said as he kissed her sweetly on the forehead. He lifted her up and carried her to the bathroom turning on the light, exposing the blood on the floor and the bandage on her upper thigh. His mouth agape as he began to cry harder. "Wha-what did you do?" He asked as he ran his fingers through his hair. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry, i'll never be good enough for you." (Y/n) burried her head into her hands, feeling ashamed. "Excuse me?" He asked. "You heard me Niall." She said sadly.
He carried her back to the bed and layed her down. Climbing on top of her, careful not to apply unwanted pressure. "You see these little freckles?" She replied an "mhm" "Well (Y/N) i think they're the cutest things in the world." He moved down a bit to (Y/n)'s stomach. "This stomach isn't to big and isn't to small, perfect." He kissed right below her navel and gave to kisses on each love handel of her's. "Don't even get me started on how crazy your hips drive me." He planted soft kisses all up and down her leg she cut on. Giving extra time to the bandage that covered her recent cuts. "These legs, they look fucking amazing in a pair of black stillettos." (Y/n) felt a whole lot better now. Niall made her feel beautiful for once in her life.
"These are the little things that make you, you. And (Y/n) i love you so fucking much it scares me sometimes." He chuckled. (Y/n) pulled Niall in for a kiss, a passionate one at that. "Thankyou Niall. I love you so much, i don't know what i would do without you." Niall kissed her one more time, and layed down with her for some much needed sleep. He pulled (Y/n) in close, making sure she knew he loved her and always was going to be there for her. He mumbled sweet things to her, boosting her self-esteem each and every time. They both fell asleep together, (Y/n) actually happy, truly happy.
