Alive [Lirry]

20.

It was done. He didn't have a job anymore. Liam Payne no longer worked as a personal bodyguard to Harry Styles, which had been confirmed from the papers Liam has signed in Jackie's office two weeks ago, terminating his job.

Jackie had promised to get Liam a client as soon as she could, but for now, Liam was jobless, and he hated how staying inside his house all day was giving him idle time to necessarily overthink about what he'd done, and making him regret it more and more each passing day.

After their final row in Harry's hotel room at their last morning in London, Liam had flied back early, not interacting with Harry once since that day.

It had been almost two weeks since Liam had last seen Harry, and he already missed him deeply. And it hurt on which terms they had parted, Harry's eyes red with tears and his face saddened with heartbreak.

The older boy knew he had no right to think like this, he had no right to miss Harry after all that he did to him, after he played with Harry's emotions just because he couldn't figure out his own.

But it was true. Liam missed Harry. He missed him so fucking much and thought about Harry in every little thing he did and imagined what Harry would say if he were here and sitting in front of him.

Liam groaned, sinking his head in his hands with his elbows propped on the marble countertop of his kitchen. His cup of coffee was getting colder by the second, but Liam couldn't sort his head out.

If was as if the more time passed, the more Liam was realising his feelings for Harry and the more he was regretting quitting his job, rejecting Harry all along and most of all, breaking him with his parting words.

Liam wanted to punch himself for being such an asshole to Harry, when the boy had wanted nothing more but for Liam to actually let him in. Harry wanted Liam to feel something. Harry had succeeded doing that.

Because oh boy, Liam felt something now, all right. Liam now realised he too has fallen for Harry. Has. He still has and it's killing him because he has no idea how he's going to fix this mess and if Harry is ever going to want to even talk to him.

Why did it take so long for Liam to get his head out of his ass? Why didn't he listen to his best friend and most of all, why didn't he just listen to Harry?

Now this was all coming to bite him back in the butt.

But why was Liam too hard headed about this? Why did he not just take Zayn's advice? Because he was going to lose his job? Well he fucking lost it anyway, didn't he?

No. Liam had wanted to protect Harry, for this precise reason. Liam didn't know how to love. He knew he was shit at handling emotions.

And Harry? He was sensitive to emotions. He deserved someone who would understand how Harry feels, and not keep confusing him like Liam does.

Liam tried to convince himself he wasn't right for Harry, but he just couldn't anymore.

Right now, Liam wanted nothing more than to get Harry's apology. He's even grovel at his feet by now, because honestly, this was driving him mad.

During the first week, Liam had refrained himself for texting and calling Harry, convincing himself that he got away from Harry, and did the best thing for the both of them. Harry, who confuses him with what he makes him feel and who Liam had hurt over and over, unfairly so.

But, getting rid of Harry. Wasn't that what Liam wanted all along.

Yes. But that was what he thought he wanted, what he thought would make everything better, when it made everything woese instead.

Both boys ending up being miserable and getting their hearts broken, their messed up feelings even more in a disarray and everything was just chaotic right now.

But no one could ever tell from the façade both boys were putting up.

But Liam had cracked at texted Harry. At first, it were small texts like hope you're okay and just wanted to say sorry.

But now, Liam had resorted to trying Harry's number ten times a day, but always getting voicemail.

He had no idea what was happening to him. But he knew that much, that he deserved feeling like this. Because he had hurt Harry was more than this.

It seemed so ironic to him. First it was Harry, forcing Liam to act on his feelings for Harry, kissing and flirting with him while Liam kept pushing him away as if he was a pest, confused with what Harry always made him feel, and hurting the boy by taking his frustration out on Harry.

But now the tables had turned. Liam was here, hating the solitude of his house which he once cherished, and Harry not returning his texts and blocking Liam's number, wanting nothing more than for time to turn back so Harry could make Liam realise his feelings again, only just so Liam can say yes this time round.

---

I'm alive yasss! (alive, haha. get it?)

but i finally updated this thing! so hoho, liam is the one hurtin' now, huh? karma is a bitch, eh liam?

this book will be a happy ending i assure ya! suggest ways of how liam can make everything right b/w him and harry, as harry doesn't want to talk to him ofc

oh! and dont forget to vote for alive in the bromance awards. it would mean tons <3

merry christmas ^_^

~zarrycupcake x