I love you, always did, always will (Jensen Ackles x Reader)

Chapter 14

-Next morning-
Jensen was the first who woke up and saw you peaceful asleep, no twitching expressions. He knew you had theses nightmares and he wanted you to go to someone professional, someone who knows how to deal with that issue.

You smiled with closed eyes as you felt Jensen drawing circles on your back with his fingers. "Good morning gorgeous." he said and kisses your head. You smiled wider and opened your eyes. "Morning." you said groggily.

"How are you feeling today?" he asked, driving his hand up and down your back. "Good and how are?" you said frowning. "You wanna talk about it?" "About what?" "About your nightmare." you sighed. "Jensen it was-" "Just another nightmare? You tell me this every time, Y/N."

You rolled your eyes and sat up, "Don't roll your eyes at me." he said, which let you had the urge to do it again, but you didn't. "Y/N I'm just worrying you have those nightmares since ever you're back and you don't wanna talk about it."

"Because it's nothing to worry about." you lied. "Yeah, sure keep saying that." he scoffed and got up. "I'm gonna be honest with you, I want you to go to someone professional if you're not gonna talk with me." he pointed out and left the room.

Shocked you took your scratches and walked into the kitchen, "You-you want me to talk to some therapist?" "Yes." he said and looked sternly at you, meaning it completely serious. "You gotta be kidding me." Jensen lets out a humourless laugh.

"You really think I'm making some stupid jokes? No, I'm not. I'm worried as fuck, because I love you so much. Please just talk to me, Jared or whoever, but don't shut me out. Not me." he said with pain in his voice and you felt sorry for being and acting that way, but it wasn't easy.

Of course Jensen knew you were having nightmares, but you never wanted to talk about it. You were emotionally overwhelmed and exhausted, those nightmares felt so real. Like this was really happening. Maybe he was right and you should open up or not?

"I-I'm sorry...I...I shouldn't have been treating you that way. You need to know, I'm the one who is having those stupid nightmares, I'm the one who needs to deal with them." "You don't need to deal with them all alone, y/n/n." he said coming towards you.

"Yeah I know, but-but I want to deal with them alone." you said and Jensen gave you his stern look. "But this isn't a healthy way, you will talk to a therapist. End of story. If you're not going there on your own, I'm gonna drag you there." he insisted and you knew you couldn't change anything about that.

"So you really want me to talk to some therapist?" he looked at you with an expression you didn't know. He ran a hand down his face and looked at you as you sat down on the barstool. "Yes, my sister knows a good one." you choked on your water.

"You-you talked to your sister about that? Why are you talking about my problems to your sister?!" you asked/screamed at him and he was stunned that you screamed at him that way. "I-I.." he struggled.

You scoffed and took your scratches, "Maybe next time you shouldn't involve me in anything and just plan everything for me!" you said angry and stood up, hobbling away into your office and slamming the door shut behind you.

You sat down on the little coach and thought about, was it your right to be mad at him? It was you felt uncomfortable knowing his sister knew about your issues and even gave Jensen a contact. But it wasn't her fault, why did Jensen need to tell her?

Maybe he was right, maybe you should have gone to someone professional, a therapist. But for then you were just really pissed at him. Couldnt he talked to you first about it? Ultimately it was about you and how you were feeling and not how he was feeling, although you knew he was just worried. For you it would have been better if he talked to you and not did plan behind your back.

"Y/N open up, please." Jensen said calmly, but you didnt want to talk to him so you ignored him. "Im sorry, I really am. I should have talked to you first before I went to my sister." you heard that he sat down and leaned against the closed the door.

"Leave me alone." you said and lied down on the little sofa in your office and closed your eyes, rubbing your temples. He did not give up and still knocked softly at the door and you fast gave in, because you knew he wouldnt give up or leave you alone as you wanted.

You slowly got up and bounded on one led, towards the door and opened it and bounded back to the sofa and sat down, closing your eyes. You felt how the he sat down next to you, "Thank you." he said. You leaned back against the back of the sofa and looked at him with a frown.

"Why didnt you just talk to me first?" "I dont know, I just needed to talk to someone about whats happening right now. It is also hard for me to see the woman I love so much-" you blushed slightly and tried to hide a little smile "-seeing and feeling that way."

You crushed into his arms and let your emotions go and began to cry, you had enough of playing strong. He wrapped his arms around you and hugged you tightly, kissing your head.

You didnt talk for minutes, after you calmed down a bit, you told him everything and he felt sorry and hurt, by hearing you saying those words.

"Everything will be fine I promise, okay?" he said while holding your face in his hands and you nodded slightly, leaning into his touch. He looked at you with pleading eyes, letting you know you can be honest with him without feeling weak.

You shook your head, "No, nothing will be fine, Jensen. I-I dont know how to deal with it anymore. Although I know they we are just dreams but it feels so real every damn time." you said crying and felt back into his chest.

He hugs you even tighter and cups your cheeks bringing you close to him and looked at you smiling, "I am always here, you know that right? You are not alone." he said before he kissed you tenderly, showing you he was there for you.

"I love you so much." he said as you two pulled away from each other. "I love you too." you said and hugged him tightly as you rested your head against his chest.