I love you, always did, always will (Jensen Ackles x Reader)

Chapter 2

2012 where the story starts...
You and Nick were in a relationship for two years now and you were more than happy.
Jensen distanced himself over the years, sure you two still lived and worked together, but you didn't do things as friends anymore. He became just a roommate and you were sad about that, he was still your best friend from your point of view.

Jensen was fighting with that he was in love with you, he couldn't be near you beside work.
He thought he would lose his mind, like he couldn't control himself. He wanted to be the one who's making you happy, cuddle with you, kiss you and so much more. But he wasn't the one.

He couldn't even say something about Nick, he treated you right, the way you deserved it.
He knew he couldn't give you what you deserved, but he wanted to.

"Dr. Ackles?" his thoughts have been interrupted by a nurse. "Yeah, sorry." he smiled at her. "The patient in room 203 would like to talk to you." she said as she gave him the file.
Jensen was a doctor of neurology.

You were a doctor of general medicine and just finished a surgery, the last for the day.
You got to your locker and took your things out before you headed home. You got ready because it was your two year anniversary.
After you got ready, Nick picked you up, you two went to a restaurant you liked the most and then you walked to the Central Park.

You walked for a while until Nick stopped and grabbed something out of his pocket. Before you could see what it was he went on one knee and looked at you with a lovely smile. Your eyes widen and you covered your mouth with your hand. He took your other hand in his.

"Y/N, I love you so much, I-I can't even describe. The last four years were the best years, although it took us a time to get together, but-" you both laughed, because he's right "-but now I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I'm so glad I went with my friends to that party otherwise I would have never met you." tears began welling up in your eyes "Will you do me the honour and marry me?" "Yes! Yes! Yes!" you exclaimed.

He slid the ring on your finger and he kissed you passionately. You two continued your walk and talked, you already started planning.
"You want to come and stay with me for the night?" You whined at his question, "I would love to but I have a surgery tomorrow morning." You said with a sad smile and pecked his lips.

"Oh I see, sad to hear that, but maybe you can come by tomorrow after work?" he smiled.
"I will, I promise." you smiled and he pecked your lips. You two took a cab and drove to your place. You got out and waved at Nick, the cab drove away and you went to the elevator.

You looked at the ring and smiled, the ring was beautiful and to be honest you didn't expect him to propose to you. You stepped out of the elevator and walked to your front door.
You opened it and entered it, you took your shoes off and went to the kitchen. You wanted to share this news with Jensen, because he was still your friend after all.

Jensen wasn't in the kitchen. "Jensen?!" You called for him. "Room!" he called back.
You knocked at his door and opened it.
"Hey." "Hey, how was your day?" he asked and you sat down beside him. "Actually it was more than great." You smiled brightly. "How that?" he smiled. You showed him your hand that was behind your back, "Nick proposed to me." you nearly screamed.

But Jensen felt his heart clench and falling into thousand of pieces. He forced a smile, "That's great, I'm happy for you."
"Thank you." you hugged him tightly. Jensen hesitated first but then put his arms around your waist. He inhaled your scent, he closed his eyes and just enjoyed this moment.

You pulled away and smiled at him.
"I didn't ask you how your day was." you said.
"My day was okay." he smiled. "Well that doesn't sound convincing." you said with slight frown. "It was just really exhausting, that's all."
"You sure?" he nodded. "Alright." you said as you stood up. "I'm gonna go to bed. Good night." "Good night." he said and you walked out of his room. You went to bed really happy that night, but Jensen?

Jensen was sad, he felt like his heart was broken. He couldn't do anything about it, you were the one that could heal him and make him feel better. But he knew you would never be the one, his chance was gone.

He went to the kitchen after you went to sleep and drank himself to sleep, because he had the next day off.

You got up the next day and walked into the kitchen to see a broken bottle, that must have been thrown against the wall. You cleaned it up and made yourself a cup of coffee. You were worried about Jensen, he was acting strange lately. Maybe he still wasn't over Dana, you thought.

But you didn't believe in this thought, it's already nearly a year ago they broke up.
So you didn't know what to do, you decided to talk to him after work.

You went to work and your best friend Jo saw that something is bothering you.
"Hey Y/N/N, you're okay?"
You scoff, "I actually should be-" you laugh humourlessly "-Nick proposed to me." her eyes widened and she hugged me. "That's wonderful, I'm so happy for you!" she exclaims
"But what is bothering you?" she added quickly.

"I'm worried about Jensen. He-he's acting really strange since a few months. This morning I found a bottle that has been thrown against the wall. I don't know what's wrong Jo." you told her while getting ready for the surgery.

"I mean he's your friend after all, I noticed too that he's acting strange. Maybe you should talk to him?" "Yeah, I wanted to do that when I come home." you said while putting on the lab coat. You both step into operation room, you began to work on the patient, "But be nice and have mercy on him." she knew something you didn't.

"Why shouldn't I be nice to him?"
"Because sometimes, when you're annoyed or too bothered you're saying things or act cold. You know. Just be friendly, honey." she smiled.
"I will okay?" she nodded.

You finished work after 8 hours and decided to drive to Nick, because you promised. You two spent a day that consisted of cuddling, laughing and kissing. Later his parents came for parents, Nick and you told his parents that you two are engaged. They were more than happy, after his parents left, you left too. You wanted to stay, but you also wanted to talk to Jensen and the talk was more important to you at this moment.

You went home and saw Jensen drinking again.
Great. But he noticed you and gave you a drunk smile, you had to smile benignly.
"Hey." he said and stood up to give you a hug.
"Hey Jay, you're alright?" "Yeah, actually good now." he said while hugging you and you frowned slightly.

You pulled away and looked seriously in his eyes, "Jensen we really need to talk."
"Really?" "Yes, really." he sat down at the table and you followed. "So about what you wanna talk?" you took a deep breath and looked at him "Why did I find a broke bottle this morning, that must have been thrown against the wall? What made you so angry?"

Jensen clenched his jaw, although he knew this talk was gonna come. You reached out for his hand and he could look than your engagement ring. His heart hurt so much, he needed to tell you. He couldn't see you getting married to someone without letting you know that he loved you. So he decided to man up.

"Look Y/N/N, I think you won't believe me, but what I'm gonna tell you is true. I care for you a lot, maybe more than I should."
"Jensen you're scaring me a bit."
"Let me finish," he took a deep breath "I love you." he said and you smiled. "Jensen I love you too, but what's the matter?"

"No," he ran a hand down his face "I love you like Nick loves you." your eyes widened and you let go of his hand, you were more than shocked to hear that out of his mouth.
You were too shocked to say anything.

"Please say anything." he said with pleading eyes. "I- uh I-I don't know what to say about."
You said while slowly getting up from the chair and began walking back and forth.
"I-" you cut him immediately off "You can't just tell me you love me," you drove a hand through your hair "Is that why you've been acting so strange lately?! Or the reason why you and Dana broke up?!" you yelled at him.