This is Perfect...

13

I shuffled uncomfortably on the bench we were sitting on, as I was growing restless every second. Though, I didn't want to push Rajat, I also didn't want him to get lost in his own thoughts.

He finally said softly, "When I was young, like till the age of 11, my Mom, Dad and I would come here every Sunday to this park."

He paused, as if he were trying to recollect all his memories. I looked at the play area in the park and tried to imagine a little Rajat holding hands with his parents.

He continued, "I would be playing in one of these swings or slides and they would be sitting here. In this bench."

He pat the bench twice as if to prove his point, "They would watch me play from this bench. And I would watch them be happy. I miss those days."

I could feel disappointment, nostalgia and regret all at the same time from the way he said it. Before I could ask him, he said, "One Sunday, we couldn't go because Dad had some work. The next Sunday we couldn't because he was not well. The next Sunday because my Mom was sick. And after that, we stopped coming here together. I never asked why they didn't bring me here. I wish I had. Within a year, my Mom and Dad got divorced."

His eyes looked terrified and gazed at his feet with horror. My heart ached. I didn't want him to go through this. I couldn't see the pain in his eyes. It made me want to cry.

I waited for him to speak up because I really didn't know what to say. He said, "The divorce wasn't smooth. I had seen my Dad hit my Mom so many times after we stopped coming here. I still don't know why. And after the divorce, I was told to live with my Dad. It scared the hell out of me. I was not prepared to get beat up by my Dad."

He took a deep yet an unstable breath and continued, "My Mom killed herself in a few months after the divorce. I even saw all the blood around her, after she had cut her wrist. Her body was hopelessly laying on the sofa. The moment I saw her body, I realized how lifeless her life was."

I could see his eyes getting watery. He tried to inhale deeply to stop the tears spilling out from those beautiful eyes.

He then revealed, "From that time, I got into bad habits."

I furrowed my eyebrows. Did he mean what I thought? I whispered, "Drugs?"

"Everything." He said in a disgusted voice, "I used to smoke and drink hopelessly. Don't get me started with the drugs! I was into all of it until high school. I was getting wasted in one corner of the house, when my Dad found out. I was sent to rehab for a year. After all of that, my Dad and I hardly spoke. He was angry with me for doing drugs and I was angry at him for getting a divorce. We last spoke around 6 years back. I don't even know whether he's alive."

He let out an unintentional chuckle and said, "I know I'm the shittiest son but it scares me to death to talk to him even over the phone."

I nodded my head in understanding. I knew he was looking at me from the corner of his eye. I let out a long sigh. He looked at me with his watery eyes and he asked innocently, "You won't stop talking to me, right?"

That's when one tear fell from his eye. I placed my hand on his shoulder without any second thoughts and said gently, "No way! I would never do that."

He wiped his tear and said, "I'm sorry. I look so silly right now."

I knew he needed my comfort. And I would give him. Because firstly, he was there for me an hour ago when I needed someone. Secondly, it takes a lot of courage to talk about drug abuse, suicide and family conflicts. He told me because he had some trust in me, right? And thirdly, you know why...