Louder Than Lions [zarry stalik au]

Chapter 22 - If You Walk Away, Every Day It Will Rain

Zayn curled into himself, laying in the same sheets he and Harry spent so many nights together and he sobbed. He regretted those words so much and all he wanted was his Prince Charming. He wanted to go back in time, He wished he would have never told Ms. Edwards about their dad and that he had just rode out the storm until he and Harry could have moved out, He could have found a job and supported Harry.

Yes, he wouldn't give up Charlie for the world, but sometimes, he wishes he never knew the boy existed. Maybe then he wouldn't be so torn up about Richard, maybe someone could have given Charlie a better life.

Everyone would have had a better life.

The Tomlinson's wouldn't have had to deal with their bullshit, and maybe, just maybe Harry would have fallen for someone else, someone who could protect him better. Like Liam.

But he couldn't go back in time. This was how his life had played out and there were so many things he wished he could take back, but he couldn't and he was nothing but alone. He was all alone in this big damn house because he was a pathetic fool who let everything good he had slip through his fingertips.

Yes, Richard was a horny bastard, but he loves Charlie, why Zayn couldn't except that he didn't know. Richard was good for Charlie. He treated him right, he protected him. Zayn could have taught him how to take care of someone with disabilities, he could have leant to deal with Richard and Charlie being together but he didn't.

He was an idiot, he realized that now as he held Harry's pillow close, his tears drenching it as he screamed into the soft cotton. He just wished he could take it all back, he wished he could have taken his whole life back. Maybe then Harry would be happy...Maybe then Harry would have the life he wanted because Zayn sure as hell wasn't giving that to him, no matter how hard he tried.

"Zayn you fucking son of a bitch!" Niall's voice echoed through the house. Zayn shot up as his bedroom door was pushed open and he was pounced on by his brother whose fist connected with his jaw.

"MY SON IS GOING TO DIE AND IT'S ALL YOU'RE FAULT! Why did Jay even have to take you in! She should have left you! She should have said no and let you be some homeless fuck! You worth-" "Niall!" Louis pulled his Husband off and threw him to the ground. "We don't need two people in the hospital!"

And Zayn didn't know what they were talking about. He was so confused, he didn't even acknowledge the stinging pain in his face. "W-What?" He stuttered.

"You fucking beat our son and ruptured an artery in his brain Zayn! Richard might die. Not only that but your son is hysterical! You're such a asshole Zayn, what did you do, huh? Did you beat his head against the wall? Did you bang it against the ground! Someone should do that to you! You should know what it feels like to know you could be ripped from the world and the boy you love!"

Zayn didn't know what to do with himself, he only cried harder. He cried so hard, so hard he thought he might puke a lung. He wanted to die right then and there because he couldn't deal with this kind of stress, he just couldn't.

"W-Where's Harry?" He cried, pulling his body out of the bed and falling to the floor. He was a weak man...He was weak.

"I-I want him, I need N-N-Niall, My C-Charming." He sobbed hard. He just wanted Harry.

Niall sighed, suddenly feeling bad for his brother. He looked so broken and confused. Zayn was losing himself slowly and he didn't know what reality was and what was in his head.

"C'mon Zayn...We'll go see Harry."

They carried Zayn to the car and set him in the backseat, seeing as he was too weak to make himself move and drove to the hospital.

~*~

Back at the hospital, They had Richard hooked to life support. The aneurism was now pressing to his brain stem, demobilizing his body. From the neck down, Richard couldn't move.

Which meant he couldn't hold his superman, he couldn't cup his cheeks and kiss him, he couldn't run his fingers through his soft blonde hair and he couldn't cradle him when he cried?

Which, he seemed to be doing a lot of right now as he tried to cuddle next to Rickard, but Liam kept holding him back, repeating that he could hurt him. "NO! I want Richard!" Charlie screamed, still thrashing in Liam's arms. "S-Superman you can't, I could get hurt." He told Charlie.

The young boy finally settled and cuddled closer into Liam's arms. "Shh, Shh, Charlie it's okay." But it wasn't okay. His Richard was sick. He wanted to kiss it and make it better but he couldn't. He just couldn't and that made him ache.

"Charlie?" Harry asked, his arms crossed over his body and he snuck into the room, he son shooting up and jumping on Harry, crying into his chest. "I-I want Richard to be okay Daddy, I miss him." He cried. "I know Charlie, I want Richard to be okay too."

Charlie stayed like that for some time, just crying in Harry's arms, who finally took Liam's chair as he headed out for a phone call.

When he returned, he looked at Harry, sighing. " Harry...Zayn's coming to see you. He's pretty messed up. Do you...do you want to tell me what happened that made you leave? Was it Richard?"

Harry shook his head, biting on his lip. "H-He...He said that Richard only wants Charlie for sex and that no one wants a...r-retard." He murmured.

Liam sighed and sat beside Harry on another chair, rubbing his shoulder. "Harry, you need to understand what Zayn is going through. Charlie's only fourteen, he shouldn't be sexually active and it frustrates Zayn. He works so hard to keep you and Charlie safe and he just...He snapped. I know he's sorry, do you think you will ever forgive him?"

Harry shrugged his shoulders. He didn't know if Zayn was worthy of forgiveness. But, when Zayn came running into the Hospital room, his eyes red and puffy, Harry didn't know if he could hold his resolve. "C-Charming I'm s-so sorry." He cried, falling to the ground before the two boys and putting his head in Harry's lap, burying it there and crying.

"No dadda! Your mean! Look what you did to Richard!" Charlie yelled at him. "I-I'm so sorry Charlie, I am. I didn't mean what I said! I wanted you to stop liking Richard. I-I know he's trying to take care of you but you're not ready for this."

Charlie shook his head. He didn't want to hear this, he didn't. Richard was perfect, he was ready for this and he loved him. He loved Richard so much. Why couldn't Dadda just understand that?

"I love him Dadda." He whispered into Harry's chest. "I-I know baby, I can see that now, I just wanted you to be careful...And well, when I saw you crying like that I lost it and I took my anger out on Richard...I'm so sorry Charles, Charming, Will you ever forgive me?"