Working Through the Rest

One Last Time

I don't let go of Scorpius' hand as I open the door and walk in. Mum and him are sat at a table and he makes to get up, but she stops him. I take another breath, and then Scorpius and I walk to the two empty chairs and sit down.
"Morning," I try not to mutter; I try to put in some effort.
"What were you hoping to achieve with this?" he demands.

We're starting like this. Apparently.

"A bit of peace," I say quietly.
"You ran away–"
"I left," I interrupt forcefully. "There is a huge difference."
"That being?"
"I left a note. I knew where I was going. And it was a thought-through decision."
"How did you know you'd be able to stay here?"
"Draco said I could come if I needed to. And I did need to."
"We had a disagreement so you walked out?"
"We had multiple disagreements," I snap. "I am trying – so fucking hard – to be civil and actually communicate. You keep refusing to see me – all of me."
"I am trying to protect you."
"You are doing a shitty job."

There is a silence and I try to collect my thoughts. I can't just get angry. I need to think about it. If he won't be the adult, I have to be.
"Do you think this is a phase?" I ask quietly.
"You're rushing with it."
"So you think I'll end up being straight?"
"Yes," he nods. "Yes I do, Albus."
"Okay," I nod. "Let's say, for argument's sake, that this is a phase."
"Right."
"Why can't we just act like it isn't? Why can't we stop living hypothetically? I mean, we supported James' phase of being a dick. We supported that for years."
"James isn't a dick. He and you just don't get on brilliantly."
"No, it was a phase," I ignore that he's just partially blamed me. "Because he came to tell me that people knew I was in a relationship."
"You're in a relationship," he repeats.
"He was the person I had a crush on and I walked in holding his hand," I mutter, rolling my eyes. "Either way, even if it is a phase, can't I live like it isn't and cross the bridges I need to cross when they come."

Silence.

"Look, you said you understood my heart. You said my heart is a good one. Please understand my heart. Please."

There is a silence and I look at Scorpius. He smiles at me proudly, nodding. I smile back. Today has been a good day. Despite this, today has been a good day.
"I'm – I'm sorry for leaving like that, mum," I say quietly. "It wasn't far on you to leave like that."
"It's okay," mum says. "You left a note, and I understand why you did it."
"Thank you," I mumble, before looking back at him.
"I cannot support this–"
"I am gay," I snap. "I. Am. Gay. And I'm done with letting you separate that from me as a person. Don't separate it. Because I'm gay and there isn't really a lot I can do about that. Not that I want it to be separated from me."
"Try and see this from–"
"Fuck this," I mutter.
"Excuse me?"
"Every time we talk now, this happens. I refuse to repress part of my identity. You refuse to apologise. And then we fight. Well, I'm done with it.
"If you want to talk – and apologise with that – then I'll listen. I'm not against talking. But unless that happens, I won't be coming home. Hope that's okay."
"Where do you intend to stay?"
"At school," I shrug. "And I'll find somewhere over summer. I can get a job."
"You're staying with us," Scorpius says sharply.
"Thank you," I feel tears in my eyes and I blink them back.
"You're not old enough to do this."
"I am sixteen," I mutter. "At fourteen, I got kidnapped by a madwoman. At fifteen, I got kidnapped by her estranged family. I really do think I'm old enough to deal with this.
"Look, I'll talk to you. I'd just like an apology. It's not a lot. Until that, I'm sorry, mum. I love you, and I promise I'll write."

She nods, murmuring an answer as I stand up. Scorpius does the same, and we walk away. As we do, I feel a weight lift from my shoulders. I told him what I think, what I really think. And I don't care if he listened or not. I have other options.

I didn't lose my father either. I lost him a long time ago. He's starting to realise.