Want Or Need?

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Scorpius does eat a little bit as the morning draws on and when Madam Pomfrey discharges him, his arm in a sling to take the pressure off his ribs, he walks straight to the Common Room to find his bag. I follow him, waiting by the dormitory door as he gathers his things.

I didn't notice yesterday, but all of his things are organised even more impeccably than usual, laid out in a logical fashion, so that you can see almost everything. The labels are all obvious and visible. So that someone else could understand it. Because he didn't expect to come back.
"Albus?"

I snap back to the present, blinking back tears and smiling quickly. We move forward from here. We look back only to keep us moving forward. Otherwise we're never going to get anywhere.
"Yeah?"
"Are you coming?" Scorpius asks. "I'm going to the library."
"Uh, yeah," I nod quickly. "Do you want me to carry that?"
"Thanks," Scorpius smiles, passing the bag to me.

I am not entirely sure why he wants to work now, though he does use it as a distraction most of the time. It's not healthy, but if he wants to now, then I'm not going to stop him. He is my best friend. I will respect his actions. Mostly.

We walk back out through the Common Room, ignoring whatever stares we get. They don't matter. Scorpius walks quickly, his face a mask of concentration, and I have to jog to catch up with him more than once. The third time, I put a hand on his shoulder gently, stopping him. He jumps, looking at me suddenly.
"Hey," I say softly. "Are you okay?"
"Yes," Scorpius keeps walking.
"Scorpius."
"I don't know," Scorpius snaps suddenly. "I don't know why she won't leave me alone. I keep trying. I–"
"I know," I interrupt gently. "It's all right."

Scorpius nods before he starts to walk again, a little more slowly this time. He looks more aware of his surroundings now, as if he cares. And that's enough at this point. As long as he knows whatever he's hearing in his head isn't really there.

*

When he arrive at the library, Scorpius goes immediately to our normal spot, pulling a half-finished essay from his bag, followed by writing utensils. I didn't bring anything with me, so I pull a book off the shelf and start reading.

I assume Scorpius starts to work, and a few minutes later, I look up from my book to see him swearing under his breath. Attempting to ignore the alarms ringing in my head, I try to work out what has happened, rather than concentrate on the fact that Scorpius never swears. Ever.

There is ink flooding out of the overturned pot, soaking into the desk and Scorpius' parchment. Scorpius keeps trying to pick it up, but he just keeps knocking it back over; his hands are shaking, almost uncontrollably.

I drop my book, grabbing the ink pot and closing it as I set it upright. Scorpius' hand freezes in mid-air before dropping silently into the pool of ink. I pull out my wand, muttering a quiet 'Tergeo'. The ink disappears and the only thing left of the mess is the parchment, still soaked, and Scorpius' shaking hand.

I peel the parchment off the desk and carry it over to the bin, dropping it in. The ink leaves a few spots on my hands, but I just wipe the residue onto my roves, sitting down again.
"Albus," Scorpius looks at me, then down at his hand.

When he realises it's still shaking, he closes his hand into a fist slowly, putting it down beside him.
"Do you want to dictate?" I ask.
"What?"
"Your hand is shaking," I try to be sensitive. "Do you want me to write? And, before you ask, I finished all my work yesterday."

I take the spare sheet of parchment from beside him, reopening the ink and dipping the quill in.
"Take it away," I smile at him.

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