Working Through the Rest

Nights

Eventually, after a couple of hours, I cave. Mum and dad have already gone upstairs, but I don't think they're asleep.

I tread slowly up the stairs, staring at the carpet in front of me. Hours ago, I thought I was never going to see this house again, and now I would rather be almost anywhere else. At least if I were someone else, I would be with Scorpius and I would know if he was okay. That's what this comes down to. And I know he is okay, but I still feel this need to be with him, to make sure.
"Are you going to bed?" mum opens her bedroom door, stepping out onto the landing.

I nod silently, walking past her and pushing my bedroom door open. It looks exactly the same as it did when I left in September. The only thing that has changed is the blanket. That's downstairs now. I'm almost surprised that mum let dad move it.

I'm glad, though. I don't think a reminder of the start of this mess is going to do anything. Not anything good, at least.

I sit down on the edge of my bed, forgetting to close the door, and mum sits down next to me. I look away deliberately, not wanting to discuss whatever is about to be discussed.
"Are you okay?" mum says tentatively.
"No."
"It is all right not to be okay."
"I know."

I do know. I just don't want to talk about it. Not now. Not ever.

I stand up, pulling back the duvet slowly. Mum stands up, letting me climb into bed. I lie down slowly, staring up at the ceiling. I don't want to close my eyes.

But I do, all too aware that mum is watching me. I jump slightly as her hand lands on mine, my eyes opening again. She smiles softly at me and I sit up slightly. Dad is standing in my bedroom doorway, watching me quietly.

I'm half-torn. Part of me hates him, because of the argument, even though I know it was my fault. And another part of me knows that I still need him. He is my dad. He cares. He came through time for me. And he protected me in the church. I have to acknowledge that.

I lie back down and mum starts to stand up. As I sit up again quickly, she stops. I bite my lip.
"Please stay," I mumble. "Please. I'm scared."

Mum smiles softly, sadly, at me and she sits down on the floor beside my bed, taking my hand.
"It's going to be okay," she murmurs.

I don't reply, staring up at the ceiling. I'm scared, and I'm angry. Angry at myself. I didn't want dad to know I'm scared. It just slipped out. I'm not ready for him to attempt to talk to me again. I'm not ready for the inevitable argument.
"Can I come in?" dad says.

I nod, closing my eyes slowly. I can at least try to bridge things, even if it's not meant to be the child's responsibility. He probably won't do anything. Making it back with everyone alive is probably enough for him. Saving the day has always been enough for him to walk away. Why would this be any different?

I hear him sit down next to mum and I take a deep breath. Despite what I said earlier, I am exhausted. I do need to sleep. And the hope that I will see Scorpius tomorrow morning is probably the only thing that will let me sleep.

*

I don't know when I managed to fall asleep, but I didn't sleep well. I don't dream, which is a mercy, though occasionally green light flashes across my mind I think that I shake.

When I wake up, mum hasn't moved. Dad is asleep, leaning against the wall. He is still wearing his work suit, which isn't surprising. I barely see him out of him. Mum is also asleep. I need to move. I need something to drink. I need a moment where I know this isn't a dream, that we really got back. That we're really okay.

I stand up silently, walking out of my room. James and Lily are still at Hogwarts so the house is quiet as I walk down into the kitchen.

The clock reads past ten; I feel my fist clenching in frustration. If Draco has let Scorpius go back to school, he's going to be there now, probably without Draco. So he'll be alone.

I dash back upstairs, ignoring the fact that I am quite literally parched and pulling a jumper and a pair of trousers out of the wardrobe as I reach my room. Mum and dad haven't woken up and I hurry into the bathroom, changing as quickly as I can. I need to get back to school. I need to make sure Scorpius is okay.

Once I'm dressed, I dump my clothes in the wash-basket and run back down to the kitchen. I know I should probably eat something, but I'm not hungry.
"I thought you would have wanted to avoid school," mum sits down next to me.
"I told Scorpius I'd see him today," I stand up. "I want to make sure he's okay."
"I'm sure he's fine," mum smiles.
"I need to make sure," I mumble, starting to pace. "I need to make sure he's okay after...after two days ago?"

Mum frowns at me and I look away, pulling a glass out the cupboard. I'm thirsty, but I don't really want to drink it for some reason. I just need something for my hands to do.
"You went missing two weeks ago," mum says quietly. "We didn't find your message until last night."

I nod, putting down the now-full glass. We've missed two weeks of our lives. For the rest of the world, it has been weeks since we did all this. For us, it's been hours.
"Can I go back to school, please?" I say quietly.
"You want to go back?" dad is standing behind me, yawning.
"I want to see Scorpius," I mumble.

Mum nods and stands up, reaching for the pot of Floo Powder on the mantelpiece. I smile gratefully as I walk towards the fireplace. Mum points her wand at it and flames leap up in the grate suddenly.
"This is not a good idea," dad says firmly.
"I'm still going," I step into the fireplace.

The flames leap up around me and I cough slightly, taking a handful of the powder from the pot. I hate Floo, but it's only a minute or so. And Scorpius is at the other end of it.
"Hogwarts!"