Working Through the Rest

Roses and Acorns

Scorpius runs ahead of me, giggling, almost madly. I follow him, still trying to work out how I feel about what he has just done.
"I can't quite believe I just did that," he squeaks as we find an empty classroom.
"I can't quite believe you did that either," I say slowly.
"Rose Granger-Weasley," Scorpius' voice rises. "I asked out Rose Granger-Weasley!"
"And. She. Said. No!"
"But I asked her," Scorpius says. "I planted the acorn. The acorn that will grow into our eventual marriage."
"You are an utter fantasist," I raise my eyebrows, "you are aware of that?"
"And I'd agree with you," Scorpius grins, "only Polly Chapman did ask me to the school ball, so..."
"In an alternate reality," I point out, "where you were significantly – really significantly more popular – a different girl asked you out. Which would mean–"
"Yes," Scorpius nods, "logic would dictate that I should be pursuing Polly – or allowing her to pursue me – she is a notorious beauty after all – but a Rose," he squeaks, "is a Rose."
"You know that logic would dictate that you are a freak? Rose hates you."
"Oh correction," Scorpius grins again, still surprisingly triumphant, "she used to hate me, but did you see the look in her eyes when I asked her? That wasn't hate, that was pity."
"And pity's good?"
"Pity is a start, my friend, a foundation on which to build a palace – a palace of love."

I shake my head, still laughing. I don't know if it is funny or not. Scorpius seems happy, and I should be glad. I am. I think I am. And yet, when he asked her, I kept feeling this sharp pang. Even when it was immediately obvious that she was going to say no, I still felt this weird feeling in the pit of my stomach.

I try to shake it away as it starts to make a return. Scorpius is smiling. That is enough. In the month since the event that has come to be known solely as 'that thing' or 'the incident', he's barely registered anything. And now he's smiling. I can't complain.
"I honestly thought I'd be the first of us to get a girlfriend," I shake my head.

It's a lie. I don't want a girlfriend.

"You will, undoubtedly," Scorpius nods, "probably that new smoky-eyed potions professor – she's old enough for you, right?"
"I do not have a thing about older women!" I insist, somewhat angrily.

I don't. I've spent months in my head trying to work myself out, and I don't think I ever had a crush on Delphi. Sure, she became one of the most trusted people in my existence, almost instantly, but I felt so alone. Looking back, I think that I saw her more as an aunt, or just an adult I could actually rely on.

Because that had been what I'd needed. I had needed an adult who trusted me, who I could trust, because I couldn't rely on dad. Or mum. Because I couldn't trust that anything I said to mum wouldn't eventually make its way to dad.
"And you've got time," Scorpius continues, "you'll have years to – seduce her. Because Rose is going to take ages to persuade."
"I admire your confidence," I laugh.

Scorpius nods, smiling, and a figure appears in the doorway, also smiling. Rose walks in and Scorpius freezes, looking between me and her. The back of his hair is stuck up slightly and I try not to giggle.
"This," Rose says, "is only going to be weird if you let it be weird."
"Received and entirely understood."
"Okay," Rose pauses, grinning. "Scorpion King."

She walks out again, laughing to herself. Scorpius lets out a breath, relaxing a little, and I shake my head.
"Maybe you're right," I say. "Pity is a start."
"Are you coming to Quidditch?" Scorpius asks suddenly. "Slytherin are playing Hufflepuff – it's a big one–"
"I thought we hated Quidditch?"
"People can change," Scorpius shrugs. "Besides, I've been practising. I think I might make the team eventually. Come on."
"I can't. Dad's arranged to come up."
"He's taking time away from the Ministry?" Scorpius frowns.
"He wants to go on a walk – something to show me – share with me – something."
"A walk?"
"I know," I nod. "I think it's a bonding thing." We walk towards each other, pretending to vomit, before laughing. "Still, you know. I think I'll go."

Scorpius nods, and there is a moment of silence before he crashes into me, hugging me tightly. I lean into him, surprised that he's doing this, after asking me to only hug him when we're alone.
"What's this?" I say. "I thought we decided we don't hug."
"I wasn't sure," Scorpius starts to ramble. "Whether we should. In this – new version of us – I had in my head."

I understand what he's trying to say, at least I hope I do. And I won't complain. His hugs, for some reason, are comforting beyond any level of description. And I need that right now. I am terrified of seeing dad.
"Better ask Rose if it's the right thing to do," I smile.
"Ha!" Scorpius pulls away. "Yeah. Right."

He walks away and I watch him, smiling softly. His smiles are so rare, and I am eternally grateful to see one appear on his face.