Title: Am I In Love With My ENEMY?!?!
Author: Lala_cutiepie273
Genre: Fantasy/Adventure
Summary: Saphire and Gabriel has always been down each others throat since day one. They argued a lot but for reasons unknown... To Gabriel. Saphire just honestly dislikes him I guess you can say. But as time goes on Saphire starts to develop feelings for Gabriel and doesn't know what to do? Will she allow these feeling to surface or keep them bottled up inside? Read to find out.
My view:
I can't help myself. I really did not enjoy reading this story.
Let us start with the title. First there's the excessive usage of punctuation. There's no need for this!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?! Okay? It's is completely and utterly unprofessional to add this into your title - not to mention THIS. NOBODY LIKES SEEING THIS IN TITLES. AGAIN, IT'S SERIOUSLY JUST SO UNPROFESSIONAL AND REALLY, REALLY ANNOYING.
Change these things if you want to be taken more seriously.
Maybe change the title to something better?
- Falling For The Enemy
- Crossing Enemy Lines
- Hating You
- Etc...
Next.
I feel like the summary could use some work. Here's what I would put, just in my opinion:
Saphire and Gabriel have always been at one another's throats since day one. They've argued a lot and the reasons have always been unknown... unknown to Gabriel at the least. Saphire has always just disliked him and never felt the need to hold her feelings in check.
But as time goes on, Saphire finds her feelings towards Garbiel beginning to change and doesn't know what to do. How can she handle these sudden changes in her emotions? Her feelings towards someone she's alwasy so certainly disliked? Will she allow these feelings to surface or keep them bottled up inside? Will Gabriel even reciprocate these feelings? Read on to find out.
Okay, so onto the writing. I found the prologue really annoying because let's face it - one thing every reader looks for in a good story is 'show and not tell'. This author just tells everything very bluntly about the main character within the prologue.
Anyway, overall the writing is very... fake and see-through. It could really use some fleshing out and needs a lot of work before it can be taken seriously. I would highly reccomend the author either A) go through the story themselves and edit before adding anymore or B) Sending it to an editor using Wattpad to help with the editing.
Out of ten? Two.
YOU ARE READING
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