Bases Loaded Jam (Bases Loaded Jam Series #1)

Ch. 45: Awards (Jordan)

I had my jersey covering up my crying face after we lost the U.S Championship game in little league. I had a towel covering up my crying face after we lost the semifinals in the College World Series. Both times, the camera was on me. Both times, I cried. Not because we lost the game. But because I threw the same pitch that ultimately proved to be the difference in our games. It happened to Huey and it happened to the Arizona hitter who went yard against me. I couldn't believe it.

Stacia was upset because she made a costly mistake by getting tagged out at home. I never blamed her. I usually don't blame anyone else for mistakes. I'm my own worst critic. Not even being named to the All-Tournament Team or MVP of the tournament would've made a difference in how I felt about the game. When the final result was said, our team was on the losing end coming up one game short. I was the losing pitcher.

Arizona would go on to beat Florida in the championship series to become national champions. I couldn't watch the game. I wanted to go home. I wanted to run away from the press because I knew there was a big deal about me hiding my crying face on social media. Somebody had found a picture of me covering up my face from little league and posted it along with me crying into a towel and posted it. I went viral and it was blowing up on social media.

While I did have my defenders from various people saying this was a bad post and that it was ok to cry, others were more sinister and called me a crybaby. I hated that feeling. I wanted to fight back. But I had to let it be. Those type of people would get their comeuppance soon. I just couldn't handle the pressure.

It would be a few weeks since I would be in Indianapolis for the award banquet dinner. So I had time to reflect and move past that feeling. In the meantime, I got to spend time with Joe. Even though he wasn't able to attend my games, he still found time to watch them. He texted me congrats with love every time I pitched and win. Oh, he texted me that he still loved me after a loss. I was happy to know I had a big fan in Joe.

We drove up to San Francisco for a week as Joe was in for a business conference. He actually booked a hotel room for the both of us. I thought this was bad considering that he was respectful to me. But he explained that he couldn't get two separate rooms for fear of getting low on debt. That seemed to make sense, but I thought he was ok financially. I was sure something else was up.

What else was odd was that every time we kissed, I never felt a spark or a tingle like I thought I did before. I had been told by friends that you knew you found your soulmate when you felt a spark every time you kissed on the lips. Maybe they were right because I wasn't feeling sparks. But I would act like I did.

While Joe would tend to his business, I would enjoy the city. If I wasn't living in Long Beach or in Los Angeles, then San Francisco would be the California city I live in. I would walk across the Golden Gate Bridge or sometimes jog across for a workout. Sometimes, people might recognize me and stop for a picture. I was gracious in letting them to do so and they told me how much they support me in my career. That made me feel better even though I was still sad about the season being over.

One night during the week, Joe and I went out to dinner. We chatted like every other young couple on a date would and had a few drinks. Joe was over twenty-one by now and I was close to being that age. He figured he would be responsible and yet, I felt foolish for doing so. But I trusted Joe. I then told Joe about the upcoming dinner and asked if he would be there to support me.

"I wish I could," he said. "But I got some things I need to worry about back home at work."

I was a little pissed off over that. I knew Joe loved me, but I was getting sad over him not being there for me when I needed him. So I figured it was time to let him know what I felt.