Hidden Sanity

Chapter 38 - The Hanging Thread

Alice lied in bed from Sofia's apartment and remembered what happened lately with Joe. She was terrified. She was disappointed because every time she thought she got the courage to fight, the fear kept eating her up. Her body always froze. She knew she had to fight for herself but never was she ready to die just yet. She was always stuck in the middle. When Jack was still around, she felt protected that she forgot to find ways to protect herself. She depended on him too much. She gave too much of her heart to him. It made her vulnerable. Who would have thought that he was the danger they were running from all along?

She reflected on her actions, of what she must improve and what she must change.

While she was thinking, her phone rang and it was her mom calling. She answered the call quickly like she waited for it all her life. Her mom was worried sick saying they just heard the news and asked her how she was at the moment and whether she was harmed or not. Alice, of course, didn't want them to worry because living away from your offspring was stressful enough so she didn't want to add up to their daily struggles. She then just said "I'm okay. I'm perfectly fine."

They said they got really bothered because they know she worked closely with Jack. Hearing her voice was helpful enough for their minds to be at peace. She told them she was finding ways to get a new job as a replacement of her previous one. She acted like she had it all figured out. Little did her mother know, deep down, Alice wanted to cry to her and tell her everything that happened, that she was tired, she was scared and she was in constant danger all this time, but she had to act strong. It only made her feel worse because she realized she had been lying to herself. She did not speak and just listened to her mother's advice. All of it, she could have done a long time ago but she didn't. She realized she should have listened to her mother when she said she had to be extra careful in New York and always be prepared when a bad guy approached her way which meant she must know how to defend herself for any incoming threat. She knew best and she ignored her because she thought she could handle herself.

She finally came to a thought of the changes to be done. She must conquer her fears as scared and as brave until she makes it. She had to stir away from the comforting fiction of "It will all be over soon." Although she felt guilty, betrayed, open and exposed and raw, she felt like she was responsible for everything and she was letting herself down by not doing much. She knew she could have done more and now was going to take a stand to end it. She couldn't keep on running away from the troubles. She couldn't simply escape the subject because of hatred and the feeling of betrayal when she should be throwing herself more into it now that the events started to get messy. People died, and some are still missing. She was involved for a reason.

Her role would be significant because she knew a lot about Jack than anyone else. She thought she must continue to help the FBI with the case for faster solution. It left her without a choice. She must vanquish the enemy and confront the risks to come herself. She won't back down this time.

She suddenly spoke while her mom was telling stories, "I got to go."

"Where are you going?"

"I'm going to fix something."

"Okay, Alice. But please buy a basic weapon... anything to keep you safe."

She recalled that she surrendered the weapons back to the FBI after Jack Kinley was caught and now she had nothing left. She needed to buy new ones. At least something handy.

"That would be the first on my list! Thanks mom! Always remember to stay safe. Lock the doors and windows. I love you."

"We love you too. Take care always, Alice."

Alice ended the call.

At the same time of the day, The FBI had contacted the orphanage where Jack said he came from. Luckily, Denise was on the front desk of the lobby, accommodating the new parents who were about to fetch their child just right after an interview and signing papers for legalities.