Miracles And Magic

|Five stages

As I ran through the streets with cold wind hitting my face and the dark night welcoming me, I still said to myself 'No, she's not gone'. Someone was calling me, telling me to stop when I carelessly crossed the road almost getting accident with the cars. People were shouting at me and yelling for me to stop this behaviour of a lunatic. Yes I truly felt like a lunatic now, my brain was messed up.

I ran with all my might, but I was lifeless my eyes were lost and I felt nothing inside - just my heart which was pummelling under my ribs. Not a drop of tear had fallen from my eyes. Yussa would have made me come to her arms and make me spill everything that was facing in my life and let my tears fall out. And then she would hug me hard and say 'You're okay'.

But.

She wasn't there anymore.

There are five main stages of grief and the first one was Denial. Seeing her pale and lifeless cold figure was enough proof for me that it was her. The small smile that she gave us one last time still lingered in my brains. I came up with every single excuse for what my eyes saw. I told myself and denied. It was just a hallucination - pure imagination. It was someone else or maybe its another nightmare. Its being long that I had a nightmare so this is it - this was a nightmare. I'll wake up tomorrow and Yussa will be there in my bed. She would smile at me and sing me the same song - my lullaby. I assured myself that this was all a act, a huge misunderstanding, or a stunt, a gag maybe.

My Yussa was still alive.

She wasn't dead.

Yussa wasn't dead.

When I got out of the room I was met with Zenna. She tried to reach for me, to pull me into her arms "I'm so sorry" she had said - her voice broken.

"She's not dead !" I had insisted, throwing her arms off me and backing away. Her cries still engulfed my brains - now faint and distant almost like an annoying hum.

"She can't be, She's not dead !" I had screamed at her and she had flinched with hurt, then I had ran away. And I'm still running and I don't know my destination. But I led myself to anywhere my heart wanted.

How can someone whom just called few minutes back, just leave you without a good bye ?

A twig pierced my skin and a stinging pain shot through my arms, then only did I come to the present. I was in the woods, a beautiful place in Bloom woods where you take a picnic with your family. I dart through the trees, pushing the branches out of my way. The air blows my hijab. When the rain had poured down - it was like as the nature, the whole universe was crying over the fact that a beautiful girl was taken away.

The trees finally part and there infront of me stood the beautiful city of Bloom woods. The city lights - I could see it every where. But I wasn't enjoying the view and slowly falls to the ground. I was gasping and was out of breath due to hours of running. I clutched the tiny grasses and smelled the damp earth beneath me due to the rain. Her smile, her shy smile and those bright eyes were in my head all the time.

"I'll be home".

You were suppose to be home, Yussa. We were suppose to celebrate.

"Go get a goal for me".

I scored a goal for you and a trophy. But thats all gone within a roll of dice. You held my pinky and with a shy smile said,