Miracles And Magic

|He's too late

A week.

Its been a week now with Yussa's blood cancer and I visited her almost everyday. My house was always empty when I came back after school. No food, no laughter and no bickering. I miss everyone, everything and it was like she was already gone. Sometimes when I open my bedroom door I would wish that Yussa will be there, sitting on my bed even when I hate when someone sits on my bed. Then she would smile at me with those pearly white teeth and we would fight. But no, I'm always met with with an empty room.

I tried hard faking my smiles and my behaviour. Slowly all my friends understood that there was nothing to worry about. My nightmares were now filled with new ideas, precisely more of Yussa now. After waking up from a nightmare I would listen to her audio and sleep peacefully.

I remember, I used to wish that Yussa would slip on a banana peel and fell or just go hibernation when everyone always noticed her and not me. When everyone praised her for whatever she did, and always mock at me for being in a football team. And also when Mom and Dad only had time for Yussa. Now look where she is, she's suffering from my continous cursing of mine, Its my fault It was always my fault.

Now here I am, going to see my sister after a hectic school hour. School is just so boring these days. Its actually true that school stands for seven crappy hours of our life. And also Math which I hate the most actually stands for mental abuse to human. I don't know a thing about Math and I haven't yet found why I'm continously studying a+b the whole square equals to. Why I'm studying trigonometry, when everything is in calculator and computer to measure a building or whatever the Disney land they do with that sheet. What more surprising is Justin who is the only one who shares Maths with me in the same class have brains. How can someone act stupid and nerd at the same time ?

Daniel had being more of a friend these days. He was always there to walk me to class. I know what he's doing, he wants answers. In the library he would take a book and sit with me though he doesn't read and instead annoys the Disney land out of me. These days he calms himself by intertwining his hands with mine and he was always there with me during the practice and whisper all beautiful words in my ears. He had said,

"Smile because frowns don't deserve to trace your face. Only smiles do".

After that incident with Zee, I had thought about wearing hijab over and over in my brains and also about boys. So when Dan claims my hands now, I would take my hand rejecting him politely. I had seen his expression when he noticed that, it had pained him. He would frown and then shrug his shoulders as if nothing had happened. If I keep on doing this then in the end I'll probably hurt everyone.

Mehara wanted to know what was happening but I didn't utter a word. At times when she would look at me with so much worry in her eyes, I wanted to scream at her and tell all those things that were making me miserable. But instead I kept quiet and smiled at her. That day when I was sitting all alone in the green field thinking nobody was there, I had screamed letting my frustrations out. But Zee had seen it, he was sitting on the bleachers with a journal in his hands and was looking at me with those green eyes. I wanted to scream and tell him,

"I've being getting bullied because of you. My sister is dying and I don't know what to do".

But all I did was, turn around and walk away from the field. Leaving him with so many unanswered questions and also leaving his concerened face. I didn't want to talk to Zee because the more I realised what I feel about him the more I got nervous around him. This is how it went the for the whole week;