Two Of A Kind

Chapter Five

The chills of the morning rain swiveled it's way through my slightly open window. An average person-with an average life-would see this as a great opportunity to stay in bed a for a couple more hours. Finding the cold a good initiation to stay on the warmth of your sheets.
Though speaking from the point of view of a non-average person, there are no excuses. No oversleeping, no sloppy eating, no bad wearing, and no discrete relationships.
They were pretty simple rules actually, for some of us that is.
I'd always assumed most of human kind had no solitary strength for this type of hardship, mind you the teenagers specifically. They were too vulnerable, and thought with nothing, but their emotional instincts never taking the time to think twice, and with the rational mind. 

It is not saying that, I had a simple road to success, because though it may seem as if popularity came to me, it is actually the vice versa. Of course I had no choice in this manner, but how I would pull myself at the top was my decision.
Who I had to be friends with. Who I had to be in a relationship with. What I can eat. Where I can hangout. Who I can talk to.
Those were things I had always to keep in mind when doing absolutely everything. It was overwhelming sometimes, it made you feel different, and supposedly not in a good way. As everyone had enjoyed their four years growing through them swiftly with no pressure.

You'd sometimes wonder why you wouldn't have ice-cream on a Saturday when everyone else was, or why you couldn't just drop to school with a pair of comfortable sweat pants, instead of high skirts and sleeveless shirts in the middle of march. But in the end, it does pay off, these sacrifices indeed have upshots, even if they were gradually, and may differ on how much initial effort you'd put. Though it seemed very nice at first-though it still is- and could be more pleasing than anything else, even the sacrifices are not to be spoken of. And sometimes some of the sacrifices end up being permanent.

I was pretty young so I hadn't remember much, but I'd remembered enough that I was told not to remember it. I was first diagnosed of bipolar disorder during my freshman year. During my Literature period, I had a sudden symptoms of server anxiety which had then developed to a massive seizure and I had been taken to the emergency room not a moment later.

"We have tried our best to figure out what had led to her seizure, ran a few blood tests to make sure her blood stream was steady again, and to a brain scan and it seems to be that your daughter suffers bipolar disorder, formerly called manic depression, a mental health condition that causes extreme mood swings that include emotional highs and lows"

For several years I had built a character for myself that according to the doctors, isn't actually me. And as my body had consumed this personality fully, it was hard to identify one from the other causing me to have a great level of anxiety, hence the seizure.

Of course my parents had refused to believe it all. Me being sick? No. They were bold and clear that they didn't want any nonsense in the way of my career. So they decided to convince me that I wasn't sick, and I was partially convinced.
I feared the effect it would have on my well built name at school, but they still kept me under constant medication. Of course, I had to hide it from everyone I knew. My grandfather had known before he'd passed away, and feared that my parents had been putting too much pressure on me. Though to be fair, I couldn't put the blame on anyone. I was sick, but along as no one knew, it wouldn't matter.

But sometimes, I'd felt the difference. Even when nobody else was. It ought not to get to me, but sometimes it got the best of me, and I had my equal portion of gloomy days, in which I'd end right back up to Mr. New berry's office, because a familiar face was better than anything. But anything, than people finding out.

Things would have been different if people did, and I wasn't going to risk different for my sanity.

"Sweetheart, Jaxon is waiting for you outside by the gate. I'm very much thrilled you guys have decided to set apart your differences and work together for the sake of the business" My mother smiles peeking at my door. By the time she'd finished I was already placing my last layer of crimson red cherry flavored lip gloss on my lips. Not the slightest bit interested with working together with Jaxon. And neither did I wish any mentioned it. It was a low act of pure pity, and father would be much likely to lend me his lodge by the beach for summer if I'd just sucked it up for his, and potentially my case.